Saturday, March 28, 2009

Gossip is the new black.

Every few years something happens to make me remember why gossip is so awful. For the most part I stay away from people who gossip, and those who make themselves feel better by talking about the faults of others. I think this is one of the strongest suits of my character. But I make mistakes sometimes, we all do.

I was really proud of my friend for sticking up for me when some folks in my cast were beating me down with the words, It was the day I got the copy of my DS cover and after I screamed I also began crying. I had known that DS had interviewed Ry, at that time, there was not a thought in my mind that we would be over by April. I am not a stupid girl, a great dance resume only gets you so far, I know why some of you are around, and you admit it, and so do I. I do not care how we found eachother, only that you stayed, were inspired and maybe inspired me too!

I had NO idea that the cover caption would say "She's got it all! Keltie Colleen on booking gigs, keeping it real and life with her rockstar boyfriend". At the point when this came to me, I was in the middle of some shocking heartbreak, I admit that too. It was terrible. The mere mention of anything about him made me cry. I was just strong enough to keep it together for 8 hours at work, and on this one day on lunch when I got the cover, I was upset, crying and complaining that the cover included him and was sort of ruined for me. Some castmates were saying that I was stupid to be complaining and that I should just be happy that I was even on the cover. TRUE. Heartbreak makes you do silly things, and took alot of this amazing blessing out of focus for me. ANYWAYS, point of story, is that my friend Emily came to my defense on this attack and said that, they didn't really know me, and that they didn't know the whole story, what had happened, and how broken I was. It takes a very strong person to not join on a bandwagon, of any kind. It is easier as humans to just agree, be nasty, and make ourselves feel better at the expense of others. I see this alot in showbusiness, I remember seeing a hella lot of it in high school. People with fake self-confidence, picking someone to hate because they cannot be big enough to fix the things they hate about themselves.

Anyways, this week, I went on a date. I know! I know! I cannot believe I am back in dating world. I stood on stage while we were doing a very good job of standing around while the lighting director fixed lights for us in tech rehearsals (for what seems like hours) and I told a few details of my date to some girls nearby, in which they screamed out, and then all cast, knew, talked about and asked about. I think I have learned that you gotta keep your person stuff private, that way when someone makes a fool of you, you do not look like a fool to everyone, and instead just to yourself (much easier). So, the cast was chatting about me, going on a date (I am one of only TWO single girls in a cast of 30 women) and then everyone knew my business. Not cool.

End of story, we started to talk about dancers, dating and I found out that my friend used to date (sleep) with one of my other friends and when everyone was bugging me about going on a date, I blurted out about this guy and girl. This story makes no sense. Bottom Line: It is always best to talk about sunshine and rainbows, guys and girls can never really be "friends", gossip hurts, Miss. Loftiss is a great friend, I had a date and it was fun and gave me hope that there are people (men) who think I am worth all their best efforts.

I also think that, life is about growing, and it is sort of like fitness. You can work out and eat right until you reach your perfect body, but if you start eating junk again you will lose it. Same thing with the soul. Being a good, compassionate person is work, and we must all work at it each and everyday and there will never be a point in life where we reach a point where we can slack off in that department. The minute we stop being aware of the power of our words and actions there is a chance that we can really hurt someone else, or even ourselves. If we make a mistake, we must say sorry, and start again fresh and work even harder at being enlightened.

good luck friends.