wholehearted.

about to start...

Tommorrow we start working 12 hour days to get the show ready for our first preview on Thursday. This morning at "work" I went with my cast and sat by the pool so people could snap pics of us with our stars. It was a slight to not so slight gongshow.

At dinner I had some fatburger. I also had an amazing talk with my dance captain and friend, who is having a tough patch with his heart. Isn't it so amazing how easy it is to give advice and just how hard it is to actually take the advice. My friend is a thunderbolt of raw talent, good looks and a kind heart and yet, someone managed to take all that forgranted, my advice, forget that stupid head and move on. SO much easier told than done. I am thankful my clarity came quick.

I spent the night packing because I move into my new condo this week! So very exciting. Between the move, 12 hour days and a photoshoot mid week it should be pretty insane. So excited to get the show up and running. It is looking amazing.

Today someone said this to me " you've got that guy who probably has alot of money and then that guy who doesn't have as much money but looks really great with his shirt off pining after you, I would say that's a pretty good place to be" - I laughed out loud. What is so great about my life right now is that I want nothing but to just be all about myself. It is a very strange feeling because most of my life I have had my crutch of people to raise my self-esteem for me, and now, I am on the road to just doing it myself. I want it all and nothing at the same time. Right now I am listening to Bloc Party "blue light" and I am thinking people in your life can only hurt you as badly as you let them. If you demand more and they cannot give it to you, then they have lost and you have not sold one ounce of your soul to the devil. STAND UP GIRLS! BOYS! PEOPLE! stand up for yourself, demand more for yourself, demand more from the people around you. Just because " all men cheat" or " everyone makes mistakes" does not mean that it should be ok. It is not. WE are WAY to badass to be treated like ass. (two asses in one sentence yes!)

ps.I am about to launch a brand new amazing website created by the fellows that created the Sugar and Bruno website and I would ike to have a friends photos page, so PLEASE email you wearing a book me tank, or anything else to keltiecolleen@gmail.com so I can put the pics up! Bria you will be #1 with the cover and you pic you sent!

pps. Hobo is snoring.

ppps.

sleep.

I used to never be able to sleep, something I my gut, somewhere was giving me terrible nightmares. My insides were screaming and I was not listening. I have never slept better i my life than I do now.

Gossip is the new black.

Every few years something happens to make me remember why gossip is so awful. For the most part I stay away from people who gossip, and those who make themselves feel better by talking about the faults of others. I think this is one of the strongest suits of my character. But I make mistakes sometimes, we all do.

I was really proud of my friend for sticking up for me when some folks in my cast were beating me down with the words, It was the day I got the copy of my DS cover and after I screamed I also began crying. I had known that DS had interviewed Ry, at that time, there was not a thought in my mind that we would be over by April. I am not a stupid girl, a great dance resume only gets you so far, I know why some of you are around, and you admit it, and so do I. I do not care how we found eachother, only that you stayed, were inspired and maybe inspired me too!

I had NO idea that the cover caption would say "She's got it all! Keltie Colleen on booking gigs, keeping it real and life with her rockstar boyfriend". At the point when this came to me, I was in the middle of some shocking heartbreak, I admit that too. It was terrible. The mere mention of anything about him made me cry. I was just strong enough to keep it together for 8 hours at work, and on this one day on lunch when I got the cover, I was upset, crying and complaining that the cover included him and was sort of ruined for me. Some castmates were saying that I was stupid to be complaining and that I should just be happy that I was even on the cover. TRUE. Heartbreak makes you do silly things, and took alot of this amazing blessing out of focus for me. ANYWAYS, point of story, is that my friend Emily came to my defense on this attack and said that, they didn't really know me, and that they didn't know the whole story, what had happened, and how broken I was. It takes a very strong person to not join on a bandwagon, of any kind. It is easier as humans to just agree, be nasty, and make ourselves feel better at the expense of others. I see this alot in showbusiness, I remember seeing a hella lot of it in high school. People with fake self-confidence, picking someone to hate because they cannot be big enough to fix the things they hate about themselves.

Anyways, this week, I went on a date. I know! I know! I cannot believe I am back in dating world. I stood on stage while we were doing a very good job of standing around while the lighting director fixed lights for us in tech rehearsals (for what seems like hours) and I told a few details of my date to some girls nearby, in which they screamed out, and then all cast, knew, talked about and asked about. I think I have learned that you gotta keep your person stuff private, that way when someone makes a fool of you, you do not look like a fool to everyone, and instead just to yourself (much easier). So, the cast was chatting about me, going on a date (I am one of only TWO single girls in a cast of 30 women) and then everyone knew my business. Not cool.

End of story, we started to talk about dancers, dating and I found out that my friend used to date (sleep) with one of my other friends and when everyone was bugging me about going on a date, I blurted out about this guy and girl. This story makes no sense. Bottom Line: It is always best to talk about sunshine and rainbows, guys and girls can never really be "friends", gossip hurts, Miss. Loftiss is a great friend, I had a date and it was fun and gave me hope that there are people (men) who think I am worth all their best efforts.

I also think that, life is about growing, and it is sort of like fitness. You can work out and eat right until you reach your perfect body, but if you start eating junk again you will lose it. Same thing with the soul. Being a good, compassionate person is work, and we must all work at it each and everyday and there will never be a point in life where we reach a point where we can slack off in that department. The minute we stop being aware of the power of our words and actions there is a chance that we can really hurt someone else, or even ourselves. If we make a mistake, we must say sorry, and start again fresh and work even harder at being enlightened.

good luck friends.
Peace.
Love.
Dance.

thoughts

maybe it meant something. maybe not, in the long run; but no explanation, no mix of words
or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that
corner of time and the world. whatever it meant.

what to do on a day off.

I hung with albie tonight and we decided to move all the furniture and do some dancing. So good for the soul. Also, good for the soul, and amazing hour at "keltie school". I had the courage to stand up for myself, and do instead of my regular...what ever will make everyone else feel good...and instead did something I really needed to do. Say goodbye, really. It feels amazing. Refreshing. and hard.

So here is something albie and I threw together. Dancing on the carpet, not so fun. Dancing. So fun. Music is so beautiful. We shall work on it more in the studio soon. Keep you posted.

HEY ALSO, small detail. I got my copy of my dance spirit today! So cool. I let some friends read it, very cool article and very sweet what Michelle, A and Ry said about me. One day I will believe all of it. They say you shouldn't believe your own hype, but someone told me today that I have to believe SOME of it, like, I am a good dancer, I am a good person- or I am a nutso. I agree.

Albert says, its ok to believe the good stuff, but then you have to believe the bad stuff too. In that case I am gonna believe nothing.

"it was just that the timing was wrong"- story of my life. seriously. If one more person says this to me, I will throw up the words- timing and wrong. barf.

happy birthday boobs!

Sometimes being a girl is fun. Reasons below:

Red Lipstick
glittery shirts
dinner for 10 of your friends for free just because they want you to sit there and look hot in said red lips
bottles and bottles of free drinks, (I of course drank water all night- kicking dehydration in the balls!)
Girlfriends, noteworthy- Allie and miss. Loftiss who have inspired so much, mostly in the "allie face" department.

Last night was the first night in many moons where I felt like myself, had fun, and was not faking it. I honestly had a blast.

BUT more importantly, Today is my best friends Katie's Bday. Hi boobies! This is great for so many reasons, now we are the same age (she has yet to get one wrinkle however), the world revolves around her for a day (which is should) and mostly somewhere in the world there is cake.

Katie has saved my life in so many ways, I could never explain. For example, I just got my heart thrown through the ringer a little while back and when the shock, awe and hurt set in I never had to be alone. Katie called me twice a day everyday until I could get out of bed myself. She sent me emails about how strong I was and mostly she played a fierce game of online scrabble with me. We have been friends since first grade, I have a very clear memory of her and her twin "muffin" ( i love nicknames!) at my grade one bday party playing with balloons. We wore matching guess jeans to the mall. We loved new kids on the block and had mall bangs. We worked at the same place all through high school. We held hands when I moved away and she came to visit me and we fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the ocean. Katie is the #1 best person I have ever met. I want to be like her in every way. She inspires me so much to be a good, kind person. She only sees about 10% of the beauty she posesses. She has great hair. She has a great boyfriend. She is a cat person (i forgive you), but also has a dog. Happy birthday to the love of my life, my bestie, and the most amazing women I know. It's been an honor to grow up beside you.

gotta run!

backstage at PEEP!

Today was press day, we did covers for all the mags, and interviews ect. Very cool. This costume, is sort of unfinished- i have a giant cape, yes like the superhero that I am, but it is not done yet. I play the "lil P" as in little pig from the 3 little pigs. As you can see I am a full fledged blondisma again, my mom will be happy. I am not.

So, here are some show pics from backstage, keep in mind that, I do not wear this on a regular basis, it is a costume. Also notice my Miu Miu shoes. AWESOME. Also notice how perfect Josh is. Also notice how miss. loftiss is pulling focus, big time. in the words of her man, "oh miss. loftiss, marry me".

We also have a "take out time out". This is where the bad girls go. Mostly mel b ends up on it. She is silly. I have more pics and stories but I am beat, and need to sleep. I had an amazing conversation about life and actually stammered the words, "I am not looking for a boyfriend" for the first time, maybe in my life. I guess I feel like, if you make a deal, then you also make a contract, which of course can be broken, and that hurts man, so I am just choosing to hang with awesome people and I kinda like being single.

Ry + I wrote a song about this subject a few months ago and it went something like this:

"why'd ya turn my kiss into a contract,
when all I want to do is want

I want you
I don't want you
to want to let me go
I want you
I don't want you
I never want you to wanna let me go
I never want you to have to let me know. "

I can't really remember it. It was this idea I had and sometimes when he would play I would make up songs and we'd start working on it. I just remember the pressure of having to live up to everything, and when you make a big choice to have to do everything to just make it work.
I have decided it is alot easier to not make choices, and just let life come at you. It is amazing what the universe will put in front of you if you stop fighting it, and just open your eyes and heart to everything around you. The choices I do make everyday as so simple: wake up, eat healthy, smile, spend time talking to the people who really matter, play scrabble online, save my money, drink water, enjoy the artistic process and love your family. Dance. sing. skip.

I have a crush. Keeping it in the crush zone. But he's awesome.

the peepshow dancers!!!!

http://www.melaniebrown.com/

Bombshell blonde and PINK?

Once upon a time I was at some music awards and was bored out of my mind, I stood in a random lobby having an amazing convo with a dude who knew some dudes I knew. His name was Butch, he was a songwriter, I had no idea who he was. I went home, checked out his myspace and realized he had written some of my favorite songs ever and more importantly had saved me from dying of boredom that night. He was the most interesting thing about the vmas that year, honestly. Him and Alan. When I wrote him to say hello, and that I dug his music and it was great meeting him he wrote me back that the most refreshing thing about the awards was me. well, whatever, the story doesn't really matter, except to give my own self an ego boost in public I suppose, what does matter is the butch is rad, his music is rad, and I most likely will never have another convo with the guy but I sing his songs very loud in my car all the time.

I like this one.



more news:
-Tommorrow, access, extra and the las vegas weekly are coming to video us, photograph us and interview us. Do not worry I self tanned.

-I am back to being a bombshell blonde and I sort of hate it.

-My backstage dresser is a tall, delicious looking man named Justice, he is NOT in fact as I was told gay, but married. He has seen me naked and I do not know his last name, I asked him if his wife as ok with him doing this job of dressing me, and the lady next to him said, I am her mother. Both very cool cats, and a very ballsy wife. That is for sure.

-my mom sent me a card that says " my emotional baggage is chanel". cool mom.

-Mel B. husband is very hot. He has a brother. intresantaaaaaaaa..... hee hee.

-In the show I wear a $300 la perla bra, $700 miu miu shoes and a 18,000 dress. I think I should have asked for more money!!

-Hobo, bono and delilah are having the time of their lives right now.

-There is a number where I have an all pink costume, and there is pink paint. PINK is my favorite colour, pink on the lips of your lover! tee hee hee.

I am writing you from inside my new, very amazing theatre on my dinner break. I am a loner. I like to sit by myself and write my book, work on company stuff and/or eat beans, rice and cheese. I am looking at a giant 20 foot pumpkin. Pretty amazing.

Today we are in “tech” and Hobo is not reacting well. She CANNOT be left alone for very long or she gets upset. This is the reason that I have her right now because her daddy is in writing mode and will leave her alone for hours without attention and she can’t handle it. MY roomies are helping, and she is playing with the other doggies and getting love, but not from me, and it makes her and me upset. She’s been throwing up. She’s like a mini-human, she just gets so upset when we are apart. These 10 hour tech days are going to kill my poor hobo loving heart. Sorry Mom too.

We have made it all the way through the 3rd number in the show. Tech is a brutally slow process. It is the time that the dancers and singers take the stage, and the sound, lights, automation all set in...

(jerry comes and sits by me as I type, asks me how I am feeling)

Jerry Mitchell tells me a story about how when he was 31 years old he broke up with his boyfriend of 7 years and thought he would die. That he really believed that this was the person he would spend the rest of his life with. (been there!) He tells me that the next year, after joining will rogers follies and getting into amazing shape, and as a way of getting his self esteem back he created the first broadway bares, over the next 19 years, the massiveness of broadway bares has lead to Peep Show. Broadway bares etched Jerry’s name as the most sought after director on broadway and in movies. He tells me about how much it hurt, how massive his wound was and how much passion he discvoered within that pain. He tells me about feeling like he would never trust anyone, any human ever again, and he told me it took him 10 years to ever really trust anyone. TEN years.

He tells me that, he wants me to know how beautiful I am, how amazing I look on stage, and how good I am in his show. He wants me to know how glad he is that I came to Vegas to open his dream show with him. He tells me that everything will be ok and that this is a chance for me to redefine myself, and that I was never ment to be some guys girl, that I stand too tall on my own, I could never be a sidekick. He tells me that I only see a tiny portion of the actual beauty I possess. He tells me to look at the stage, take it all in and know that THIS, this is what really matters. The stage isn't leaving, and to focus on that.

I tell him about how well I am doing, and how, even when I am hurting, that I am also healing and feel so much better already in just a month. I tell him everything I am focusing on, my book, my clothing line, my dvds, this amazing show...and I tell him that I do not just want to be like everyone else, I am not every dancer. I want more. I want an empire, a name, I want to be him one day, and he tells me that I will have it all, because anything is possible.

I hold back my tears and I try not to cry. ( ...do not cry in front of jerry, do not cry in front of jerry)

I have never seen Jerry upset. I have never seen him not smiling. I have never seen him not in awe of the world. I see so much of myself in him and I am so thankful that he shared his story with me. Life is such an adventure and if you told me 5 years ago that one day I would be having a heart to heart with someone as famous and special as Jerry I would have never believed it. I really feel like I am on the verge of something spectacular.

I am sitting watching Jerry plan lighting in this amazing show and Mel B play with her adorable 2 year old named angel and I am filled with so much faith.

“I’ve never felt more alone, and I’ve never felt more alive.”

ps. Vanessa went to see Matt Nathanson play and look what she did. I guess he is on team keltie? Van and I are obviously on team "matt is my future hypothetical boyfriend". So cute!

RIP

if ya wanna. comment!

http://forums.dancemedia.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=20665&sid=96fe279af1bcb06dd2fbfad4f753a7fb

uni-verse + tard

I was going to upload a video of my backstage today but it did not work. I was also going to upload a video of me opening the candy care package Zoey from the UK sent me-that did not work either. Instead you get one of my favorite music videos of all time.

The universe feels right. I stayed up really late last night and I felt really special and beautiful. It is unfortunate when we allow the actions of others to take away our spark or our self- confidence. It feels great to have it back. Delicious actually. I believe the universe keeps challenging me so I wont take a single thing forgranted that is going on. I am not, trust me uni, so stop throwing the swords into days! Speaking of Uni, mel b rocked a hotass unitard today in rehearsal. She might have the greatest bum ever.

Tonight Albie came over and gave me another cooking lesson, this was #3 and I made a badass meal for him and my roomie Carlos. I am going to learn how to cook real food from scratch and tonight I made a yellow pepper, tomatoe and spinach pasta with garlic and olive oil sauce, it was delicious! yay me.

Tommorrow we move into the theatre to "tech" the show, this means longer days, and alot of work. I had a costume fitting today and tried on my 18,000 couture gown I wear in the show! So insane. My costumes are so amazing and I even get to wear miu miu shoes in the opening, very posh. Thanks so much to Greg Barnes for being the most creative person alive sewing. Everyone is in the process of getting our hair cut and coloured for the show and it is exciting. I wonder what my look will be!

What if there isn't a heaven, or an afterlife, or another life. What if THIS is it? WHAT WOULD YOU DO? dance full out everytime, do what you say you are gonna do and enjoy. seriously, enjoy your ride. If we only get one, you better make it good!

love you,
KC

smiling so big my cheeks hurt.

Keltie can't stop smiling

I think this is amazing considering that today I got in car wreck, this week spent 3 days in bed, and one of those days was in the hospital this week and realized I do not have more than 24 hours off until 2010. I have also had 3 diet cokes in the last 3 days. I have bruises all over my arms, and doggie hair all over my bed.


I figure this is pretty badass... Not that it matters but I had a pretty amazing heart to heart with my second favorite spice girl today (ginger forever!) and she said this to me, (insert british accent)" Its good to get your heartbroken, it adds a layer to who you are and makes you more interesting, and seriously fuck that wanker". Then I watched her amazingly HAWT husband stare at her during the whole show run through even though 30 scantily clad women were dancing around. I think Scary might just know a "trick or two" as far as the men go. You just gotta find someone who adores you. (and then paint them with pink paint- PEEPSHOW!)

Maybe, one door closes so another door can open. Hense, I can't stop smiling.

In case you missed it.

Freaking AWESOME.

A got a random email out of the blue from someone I was friends with way back many years ago on cruise ships. His basement had flooded and he had recovered some shiplife stuff. When I used to live in a 5x7 box in the bowels of a huge ship with no windows and no inspiration I used to write things on post it notes and post them all over my cabin. I guess he stole some when I moved out and scanned them and sent them to me. Seems like a world ago. BUT... Still so relevant.

I think I have lived a bunch of lives. Maybe that sounds crazy. I feel like I have lived a million lives just in this one, and mixed with all my past lives I just have so much in my head.

Press day today, and a wandelprobe. Mostly I am just excited to be back to work. Mostly I am just excited that Steve-o was safe on DWTS last night.

ox kC

whoa.

#1- Super overwhlemed and in love with all of you, I have gotten SOOOOOO many amazing emails for design ideas. Seriously. Coolest group of people ever. Your ideas were all so good, and made me get so super inspired!I am writing each of you back, I swear, but it might take me a while, I will though, you wrote me. :)

#2- Would you wear a dance dress or a romper? Like american apparel romper or their long tank dresses. I really like the idea of doing something with those things.

#3- TEAM STEVE-O. He has the cutest smile ever. Did anyone notice my friend Fred tonight on DWTS? So cute. Love me some fred.

#4- Vintage shopping today found $13 gucci heels and an amazing 1970's black, silver and purple sequin top that is perfect for anything to do with a time I might need to wear glitter, which is pretty much each and everyday.

#5- Kelpie and Loftie forever. Hobo and Lady Forever.

#6- I only had one diet coke today, success!

#7- Tommorrow more press at rehearsals. Wearing my black romper from target and a sensible legwarmer, as usual. Please let it be a good hair day.

#8- weight gainer powder tastes like a "worm that has been sitting in the sun for three days full of cheese" gross.

#9- best drawing of the day. (see above picture) the robot is wearing a book me tank!

Here it is!!

Hey, I was told I can show y'all this today! Here is my cover! I cannot share the story/spread for another week but if you would like to buy a copy please go to http://dancespirit.com/issues and order it (you cannot order it untilMarch 24th though!
What do you think? I really like it.

monday morning good news!

OKAY FINALLY I can let y'all know about some good news! I have been biting my cheeks for a few weeks to not say anything but now I NEED YOUR HELP! I am serious.

One of the coolest dancewear companies out there "SUGAR AND BRUNO" has asked me to design some shirts for them for their back to school line. What a dream come true, other dancers on their list are

Kameron Bink
Lacey-Mae
Chelsie Hightower
Nick Demoura
Tyce Diorio

check out their amazing website at www.sugarandbruno.com, they are so fast paced and make the coolest dancewear.

SO...my job now is to collect a million great ideas and find out what YOU love and what you want to wear. DO you like v-necks or crew necks? long sleeves or short sleeves? A tunic? I need design ideas, saying ideas, color ideas. Send me pictures of your favorite tshirts to keltiecolleen@gmail.com, if you are walking in the mall or in school and see something great LET ME KNOW. If I use any of your ideas I will send you a free shirt when my line comes out.

My mantra has always been courage. passion. hard work. and this is going to be the inspiration for these shirts. I want them to represent me and what I stand for but I also want them to be something you would wear if you are a dancer, or not. Maybe you are a dance fan? Or just a fan of my writing? I want my shirts to be able to worn with jeans and look amazing, or with booty shorts in class. Send in ideas!

THe universe just keeps blessing me. You all keep blessing me with kind words and inspiration to keep going, keep dancing and keep dreaming.

Love keltie

dancer. choreographer. Entrepreneur. CLOTHING LINE DESIGNER!

h20 x 10000000000

hey everyone,
I just wanted to let y'all know that I am feeling alot better, still in bed resting. I think there is a great lesson to be learned here and I am sorry I am the one to have to teach it but, I think as an athlete and a dancer there is an insane balance between feeding your body and the outward image you have to portray. I was really careless. I have had so much going on in my life over the past few months that once I got off tour I just focused so much on dancing, working, press and travel that I forgot the most important thing! ME! I was like a runner at the end of a marathon that didn't drink that big bottle of water!

The base of the problem was just dehydration. Moving to the desert and not drinking enough water. Like my mom says, they don't hook you up to IV's for just passing out. True. When I do Rockettes I consume about 3500 calories a day from good sources like brown rice, beans and cheese. When I started rehearsals for PEEP, the show seemed easier and so I just was not thinking I had to manhandle my calories like I do when I am doing the same hours for Rockettes. Lesson learned.

When rockettes started this year our trainer elaine came to us and talked about keeping weight on during 4 and 5 show days and during long rehearsals. She talked about how michael Phelps would eat 13,000 calories a day. I want everyone to know that my avoiding taking care of myself like this is really stupid, and I got caught up in a million other things. We as dancers have to take care of ourselves and treat our bodies well if we expect them to be graceful and energetic on stage. I am determined to get my health back and am sitting in bed for the next few days resting. I would love to hear from you and any great recipes, or tips for delicious snacks you love. I am eating healthy, drinking tons and enjoying my favorite vanilla milkshakes from fatburger.

Mostly, nothing in life is worth your health. And we have the power to control everything in our lives, with great fuel comes great skin, hair, nails and energy. With those things comes great confidence and the energy to do all the things we want. I know many of you look up to me, and with the mag out now I am getting more visitors than ever. I just want to say that I have accomplished most of my great jobs after 8 hour auditions on a belly full of peanut butter toast, tea and yummy and healthy snacks. NOT taking care of myself has landed me on bedrest and unable to dance. Please take care of yourselves. I mean it. I am doing the same.

Also, I just wanted to say this: I spoke with Ry today. We are cool beans.

Also: Hobo says hi, and that she is really happy living with her two doggie friends. She says not to worry about her but to send her doggie treats because her mom has her fat ass on a diet and shes hungry.

I love you, and thank you for loving me. Seriously. Thank you

Love KC

Albert

Hanging with Albert on the couch in his condo all day today, he cooked me dinner and is letting me recover and making me tea all day. He is so sweet, and so super talented. We've been watching dance videos today and he showed me this. This is from the european tour of "a few good men...dancin" he was on tour with my darling Calen so the world continues to get smaller and smaller. Here is a solo called " Ode to a beautiful Nude". If that isn't hot I am not sure what is. He is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Enjoy.

sexy sunday. thanks albert.

veggie deal.

Mission: Fatburger everyday. Day one: Accomplished.

drink your h20 friends!

Today was one heck of a day. I have not been feeling well the last few days, very tired, worn out and lethargic. I thought it was just alot of rehearsals + lack of good sleep and today, well I guess I was wrong. I was running some numbers and felt ill so I ran to the bathroom, and I passed out, woke up in the hospital. My blood sugar was at 50, I guess it is supposed to be 120. Doc told me I was seriously dehydrated and they gave me a zillion painful IV's. I feel so much better but still a little weak. Dancing is such hard work. Here is a great picture my roomie Carlos snapped of me when I woke up. You can't tell but I am doing the "peepshow" hand on my eyes. Should I send this to broadwayworld.com?? ha.

I guess when I was passed out I was calling for him, and Emily Loftiss... My friends contacted him to see if you were here. They told me tonight. I wish they hadn't. After all we have been through I figured me in the hospital would mean he might grow up and be a man and pick up the phone to just make sure the girl he was with for years was ok. It is so easy to pick up the phone isn't it? It really is. I always loved him more than he loved me. I guess my flaw is that I always love everyone more than I love myself. I love that the guy I have been on one date with offered to come take care of me and bring me fatburger. Shows alot about character. It shouldn't be that way should it. But it is. One day I will accept that. One day I will relish in that.

Thankfully, my arms hurt far more than my heart. IV's freaking hurt, and they drew all my blood out about a zillion times. Holes everywhere. Also, I have three amazing doggies in bed with me right now, making the bedrest part way better.

Also: love this song. love. How did I exist before the frames??

milk.

Last night I watched "milk". The movie touched me so deeply. So I wanted to say this: No one on earth is better than anyone else. There may be right or wrong but there most certainly is not better or worse. A person that has more money, more friends, more fame, more church, more acceptance is not better than the world. You are not better than the world. We are all the same. I do not care what you do, who you are, what you say as long as you stand for what is right. If you stand for what is wrong, then I pity your karma and soul.

This past month two of my best gays got engaged! This is such amazing news and I want to say this: There is more love, acceptance and will in their relationship than I have ever had in any of mine, maybe the world should be looking to people like Chris and Calen for the answers on how to make a commited, loving, unconditionally amazing relationship work. I certainly do not have the answers but it seems like they might.

I love all people, and I am glad to be a part of a generation of acceptance and where we can have openly gay people everywhere, as rockettes, as member of peepshow, as teachers, as my mommy's bbf. Hating people because of what they ARE is wrong, it is much more just to hate someone for what they DO. I cannot bring myself to hate anything, not enough hours in the daylight to spend time with a dark heart.

I was blown away by Harvey Milk's story and I think as humans, we all have the chance to stand for something great. We can get eaten up by the status-quo or we can take a stand, step up and stand for something beautiful.

What do you stand for?

I hope that when people think about me they think: acceptance, peace and promotion of the beautiful art of dance.




enjoy the pics of me, Calen, Chris and of course the ever present spagatti.

if you have something to say, you better say it now.

"As humanity evolves we must take every day and every breath as if it is the first, last and only thing we have because if I constantly work on myself, my soul and dealing with the daily influx of emotions, grudges, ego, hurt, happiness, forgiveness, resentment and mistakes then I have only grown to deal with the past. If we see things and people in our lives as they were yesterday then there has been no growth. We must give eachother the constant ability to change. Everything that happened in the past, never happened. I do not know that person, those days. I only know this day, this person standing before me and the words and actions as they say them, or do them in front of me. We must let everything and everyone in our lives evolve."

Once a few summers ago I wrote this on a summer, sweaty night in Vegas. I believed it then, and I believe it even more now. Life goes on.

I have been listening to alot of the frames as of late. I downloaded ALL of their records and sing along to glen in the car. So good. I love this song, I think he wrote it for me, knowing I would need it one day.

ps. I know this might sound lame, but thank you so much for writing me, twitterlating me, emailing me and commenting me when you watched my video, and saw my cover! I've been getting so many calls! My video was the most watched video for the first 24 hours ever on dancemedia.com ! and I owe it all to you, seriously. My first ROX roomie Jenee called me today and she still Subscribes to DS! So cool. I am just awestruck and so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I have so much exciting news on the keltie front but it has to be under wraps right now, and as SOON as I can share I WILL! I constantly thank the universe for giving me all these amazing blessings, because I am still so lost and hurt and having a hard time trusting anything anyone says to me, that if it was not for all of you - And my awesome dancelife, I would have nothing wonderous to smile about all day long!
enjoy the song, hobo and I have a date with a movie and a delicious diet coke.

bria

this chick rocks.

look at how cute she is with my cover! love her in her pink ballet tights!

dorktastic.

Hey, today dance spirit posted a video of me online being dorktastic. I wanted to share

http://dancemedia.com/view/929f955c7ae8eec107f7b0f4493e6aa4e1d01555

I really like it, mostly because it is the most real version of myself I have ever been able to share. This is what I am normally like, a super loser, who knows a great makeup artist. You can also go to dancespirit.com and look at my interview with my #1 fan Shannon, as well as some images from the shoot. Very cool.

I have so much amazing news that I cannot share yet but things are looking up, WAYYYYYY up. Other than the fact that last night I spray adhesived my hair during craftime and had to cut some out. That, was not so good.

:) times one million.

you know I wanna ask you to dance...

We all know my love of T.Swift and this song sort of sums up my week. Smiles. The best part of getting off work at 6 pm is driving my little red wagon home and watching the sunset over the mountains. So pretty. Today was the kind of day where you want to skip work and just go hiking or skipping. If I did that I would get fired. Instead I spent a little time working on my poleography, keep in mind there are two of us on the pole at the same time. It is STUNNNNNINGLY amazing. Here, in a romper, I shall demo it for you to see. My lines are good but my strength is still pretty pathetic. I will get it, still have 2 weeks until previews. You might notice that I have a huge ass. It is true. I am like the j.lo of the skinny dancer chicks, for some reason I have this huge ballet ass that just bubbles out. YOU might think that is the most entertaining thing about the video, not true, what the guy behind me, timber, as I dance, he is so busy texting and then looks up and YAWNS, I guess my act still needs work!

Today I discussed the new season of DWTS with Mel and Kelly, I am still on team steve o, and they seem to think that it is unfair that a DCC is on it, since cheer is so much like dance. I still like the jilted woman. I also had to give it up to lil' kim. She shook her huge booty and I can RELATE! ha ha ha, gosh I love that show.

Head first, fearless!!!!!!

4.

One more thing. I have been meeting alot of new people lately, new job, new city, new. new. new. and it has to be said that it refreshing to meet those people who REALLY listen, and ask questions and remember your answers. I think most of us entertainers only half listen and half think about our own next bold move. It is just like a cold shower to have a conversation with someone who thinks I might be the coolest greatest girl on the planet. It feels nice to feel special, and not be taken so forgranted, even if it is by strangers. That is all.

Here is a picture of the world's largest Psyanka. Just because, even though it is in crapshoot alberta, we shouldn't take it forgranted either. Much to pretty.

Stacey Sund

Sometimes when I need a laugh I just look at this picture that Stacey Sund sent me of herself. It is classic. laugh. got it.


Sooo.... who watched Dancing with the Stars tonight? I did, right after hobo ran out into the backyard in my friends pool and thought that the pool cover was ground and decided to run on it, sink and go for a swim! Oh hobo, awkward like her mother.

So. Still have major crush on edyta and her HOT rehearsal outfits, she loves legwarmers, I love legwarmers= Love connection!

But this year I am rooting for Steve-o because his turns made me want to be alive. His arms in first position were maybe the cutest thing I have ever seen.

and of course, I am totes rooting for the jaded lady from the bachelor. Scorned women unite! I would be rooting for her because DCC was maybe the highlight of my fall on tour, and yes it is totes unfair that she was a cheerleader but that dude dumping her on television, well. She's pulling it together and shining on. Can't help but root for her.

So team Steve0 and team bachelorette.

Tommorrow Extra. E!. Entertainment tonight and ever other new outlet are coming to watch our rehearsals. It's big time y'all. Very exciting.

la la la human steps.

AMAZING. AMAZING. La la la human steps.

Last night was a blast. The PEEP marquee is up and all lit and looks amazing. I have the coolest cast ever.

Last night my best friend Spagatti called me at midnight and was drunk beyond even his limits and lost somewhere in Chelsea. This story is great because I was able to use my excellent knowledge of the NYC subway map to help him find the nearest N train, and on the way there he decided to buy two hotdogs. Hotdogs might seem like a good idea on the street when you are lost and drunk, but I can honestly say that even if I ate meat, which I do not, I would never go close to a meat being sold out of a aluminum cart on the street. Jeff is a great conversationalist and that is one of the reasons I love him so much. He always has something to say and last night was no different. Drunk Jeff is even better because he loses his ability to censor what he says and it makes it very funny for me. I told Jeff to call me when he got home and instead I got a text at 3:30 am that said " fell asleep on the train and ended up in Long Island, crap". Have you ever done that? I have. It is the worst!

During the course of our conversation he said, "but you, keltie, you, how are YOU doing? Are you ok?" and I replied, " Yup, I am fine. Happy, having fun, much better" and he said " Yea, coming from someone who has known you since you were, like, three, that first week was rough but you are back, YOU are SOME resilient shit Keltie."

YOU ARE SOME RESILIENT SHIT KELTIE.

That might be my favorite quote of all time. When things suck, or get us down in life, we just have to remember that, we only get a few years on this awesome planet, and hate, anger and sleeplessness are not putting those short hours to work. Life knocks us down, people are not who you expected them to be, you get cut from the most important job in your life, and what can you do? You gotta just pick your backpack full of baggage (mine is a suitcase now!) and carry on! Be the BEST you that you know how to be and do everything you can everyday to make yourself happy. For me , it is taking my pup to the doggie park and meeting new people (today I met a cirque gymnast who has been with the company since 1983! Amazing stories of how things work in "O" how shows are created and about artist integrity!), paying special attention to fueling my body with healthy foods and drinks so that I look my best and am full of energy, spending time talking to my best friends and REALLY listening- How often do you REALLY listen, you should try it, super enlightening, spending time crafting and working on my new art project for my cast, enrolling myself in a computer course so I can learn how to make webpages!, singing Matt Nathanson tunes at the top of my lungs while I am driving, getting dressed up, meeting friends in fabulous places and most of all, thanking this world each and everyday for all my blessings. They outweigh my "not-so"blessings" by so much. I am alive, awake, healthy, loved, and most of all I get to work everyday at something that excites me to no end. I am an artist and it is so wonderful to get paid to be who I would have been if no one was paying me.

My friend Ryan Parker said once that he never needed to do drugs because nothing could compare to the drug of opening night. I agree. Life is too beautiful. Seriously.



"I do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want to

everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don't cry- ani difranco

Friday night heels.

Last night my new Louboutin's begged me to take them out. I agreed. So much fun, I went to a thing called "first friday" in the arts district in Las Vegas, there was a bonfire, vintage shopping and enough hipsters to make it feel like Brooklyn. It was fun, then we headed over to beauty bar. It was beautiful. I love dancing to music and wearing amazingly tall shoes and towering over everyone. The world is so small but that is okay because I get to walk through it with my head held high.

Today we did a full run of Peep and it was AMAZING. Each number is so different and so sexy. I saved Mel's life today too. Your welcome to all her fans. My pole stuff is coming along so well and I am feeling so strong and I LOVE my TRIO with Mel B. She is such a workaholic and so amazing and I still cannot believe I get to hang with her!

Tonight Mel, Kelly, Jerry and the rest of the cast are headed to Striphouse for dinner and then Prive for a celebration! I seriously LOVE this cast and I just love my new life. The amount of fun I can have when I just focus on myself is amazing.

Leather skirt. Sky High Heels. Red nails. It's saturday night y'all!

christina perri sings

There are a couple of good songs about Keltie out there. I love when a good friend can't find the right words so she just writes me a song. If you do not know her, check her. Christina Perri sings.

first friday.

"The fluttering in the stomach goes away and the dull waking pain. Sometimes I think of you and I feel giddy. Memory makes me lightheaded, drunk on champagne. All the things we did. And if anyone had said this was the price I would have agreed to pay it. That surprises me; that with the hurt and the mess comes a shaft of recognition. It was worth it. Love is worth it."

just another day at work.

Hello. Today was alot of fun, we worked on the show and acted like sillies. Two of my favorite things. Please meet my cast in a few little videos, I made AMAZING Josh sing, made mari talk in spanish (she's teaching me) and did a little duet with cutie Albert.

I saw my dance spirit cover today and was so excited about it. I do not really like the picture, or caption, but I guess that is what happens when you publish something in December and it comes out in April. Things change. The good news is that I AM ON THE COVER and SOOOOO many dancers would kill to be me. Loftiss said to me tonight, "Girl. You have been Keltie Colleen for so long, kick ass dancer, Rockette and the person everyone in this business loves...No one can take that away". So true. Hopefully that will fall beneath my skin soon and soak up. Sarah Appleby did an amazing job on my hair and makeup and you should check out her amazing work www.sarahappleby.com. She's the best and makes me look my best. Love her.

I wonder how many times I am going to act like a buddha before I get some hate on, or how badly someone can treat you before you just pretend they do not exist. When I have the answers I will let you know. I think it is today. I hope so. Last straw. All I know is that I do not want backstabbers as friends. I'd rather spend my time and energy on all the really good people I have in my life. LIKE....HOBO! Hobo WON over the cast tonight at the new apartments with her sweet charm, everyone loves her and she acted like a perfect lady, she even made friends with a CAT! Now she is sleeping, and dreaming most likely about the next time she can have a treat. I wonder what doggies dream about?

Okay enjoy the videos!

#6

delicious. choreography coming soon.

The Swan.

This Pas De deux is perfect. This music is haunting. I was doing some crafting listening to my itunes and suddenly this piece from Swan Lake came on and it took me back to a summer afternoon and an almost empty house. The great thing about pain is that, it goes away and it leaves you only remembering the really beautiful times. I never felt more alive than I did that day. I love that feeling and I cannot wait for my Prince Siegfried to come along and catch me when I fall out of my perfect 180 ponche!



"She tells him that the only way the spell could be broken is if a man, pure in heart, pledges his love to her."

EDIT: on second thought, is Siegfried even necessary? No one is even looking at him, she is so captivating and stunning on her own. Yea, Yea, he looks good in his tight pants, but she just might be to fabulous for a mortal human. :)hee hee.

When the wind blows we go to.

Things i might love right now:

*Mel b, the queen of girl power and her use of the word " wanker" and her great life advice.

*Alpine trail mix from fresh and easy

*my new obsession and new friends at the doggie park.

*Josh strickland's sweet amazing voice.

*24 pack cases of diet coke.

*My custom mini top hat for opening night to go with my feather dress

*The big ass craft book

*An exciting weekend of fun at first friday and then a celebration at Prive on Saturday!

*The clarity of letting go, moving on and in the words of my brother, " finding my balls".

I have been thinking alot about the word "loser", and I am thinking about redefining it. I was at the doggie park and was talking to this guy and woman about things I like to do besides going to the dog park, and I would say them, and right after say, "I am such a loser". These things were getting a library card, crafts, reading, pilates, sending postcards, what not to wear marathon saturdays, knitting, playing online scrabble with my mom and bestie all the way from Canada. MAYBE, this makes me a loser, but I think that us losers might have the secrets to life. We talked about how you cannot depend on anyone to make you happy and thus have to just do the things each and everyday that make you happy. These things make me happy. My friend Daniel told me recently that I am just " a really pretty geek". That is true but isn't Jason Mraz a geek (in the pink)? because if Mr. A-Z is a geek then please count me in, I will hang on his delicious geektails anyday.

Last night my homework at "Keltie School" was to make a list of all the things I expectations that I have for the way other people treat me. Some of the things I said were, Do what you say you are going to do, be honest, be happy for me when good things happen, be nice to me...and I was told that my expectations were pretty pathetic, and that those are things that ALL humans should be, and that I need to set the bar a little higher. That is some good advice. I think as entertainers we get so used to being used, talked down too, cut at auditions, treated badly by divas that somehow that morphs into acceptable behavior in real life. Demand more people. I am going to from now on and I suggest you all do to.

Wes Hutchinson, my good friend, who is in my book. He loves red wine and is the "best chick songs sung by a guy songwriter" I have ever known. I've seen Wes play about a hundred times in the best venues of NYC, Rockwood, Arlenes, Pianos, Joes pub and when I listen to his music is makes my heart ache for summer in the Lower East Side. Enjoy and then go listen to "stay till someday" and you will perish from awesomeness.

Spicy.

Just saying. In grade 11 I died my hair red with white stripes in the front like ginger spice, I have pictures to prove it. I owned almost everything spice girls. and tommorrow I am doing a trio with Mel. B. My life is cool. Grade 11 keltie is FREAKING OUT!!!! and now keltie is acting professional and NOT wearing her spice girls tshirt to rehearsal tommorrow.

#3-Sunday at the dogpark

"Believing and seeing ONLY the good in other people, because you have good in yourself, is not a flaw in your character, it is the strength in your character." - Mommy.

#2

If you actually stop thinking for a moment, and just LIVE in the moment, the moments are pretty amazing. Lucky me, living my dreams.

#1.

“If I could tell you what it meant, there would be no point in dancing it” -Isodora Duncan