Wednesday, June 30, 2010

cause you broke all your promises

Many moons ago I dated a fella name nick. Nick was kinda rad, but then I met his sister, Christina and I was hooked. Months later Nick broke up with me. Christina and I were upset because WE didn't want to break-up. SO we didn't. We have been friends since. One time when a boy broke my heart she ran from Philly to NYC and sat on my fire-escape smoking cigs while I laid in bed and cried all day. I forgave that boy and excepted his lame excuse for whatever it was that he had done to hurt me (which I shouldn't have) and christina was my girldate for concerts, shows + birthday bashes whenever boy was away.

When boy broke my heart for the second time she sat beside me and had the best kind of words.
"Seems guys always win like that, and get to act unaffected. Just because success comes in waves for him doesn't mean he will ever be happy. He's gonna love and lose for the rest of his life, and you will blossom each year . we, down here, subjectivly, wont ever be able to see it, but we can believe it is true. I sure do, chin up, you are a star"

I had those words taped to my fridge for a long time. I would read them each morning and find some comfort during that time. So when I first heard Christinas song, Jar Of Hearts, I felt like it had been written for me (obviously it wasn't). What good friends do is support, love, believe, and fight for their friends. One day Christina will get to tell her story of how her song ended up in the "what's hot" section on itunes this morning. I know I played a major role. My favorite thing is when really good things happen to really good people. My favorite thing is when strong powerful women call call out the messed up things that boys do. Who hasn't had someone come back months later trying to fill their own ego with you still needing them? This STILL happens to me and its been years. Boys just have this way of knowing when you get over them, and some secret radar goes off and then MUST reach out to you to make sure that they still can mess up your insides. And, of course, they can, and they do. This is the perfect song to reflect that...

Please support one of my bests Christina Perri. Hop on over to itunes and pick up her song. It is a perfect song.

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'cause all that's waiting is regret
don't you know i'm not your ghost anymore
you lost the love i loved the most

learned to live half alive and now you want me one more time

who do think you are?
running around leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
tearing love apart
you're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul
don't come back for me
who do you think you are?

I hear your asking all around
if I am anywhere to be found
I have grown too strong to ever fall back in your arms
learned to live half alive
now you want me one more time

It took so long just to feel alright remember how to put back the light in my eyes I wish i had missed the first time that we kissed cause you broke all your promises
and now your back
you don't get to get me back