Thursday, July 30, 2009

Stranded in the aftemath of those who leave and won't come back.

There are men out there who like blondie's.
There are women who like muscles.
I myself, like musicians.

I do not do it on purpose I swear. My brain tells me, stock broker, dentist, 9 to 5'er, Loftiss yells at me each time I come to her and say "I met a boy...he plays music". It is actually funny at this point.I have come to accept the fact that this is one of my beautiful flaws and well, here is hoping 4th times a charm! Sorry Loftiss!

One of my favorite winters, what year was it? 2005? was the one I spent hanging around the east village with my friend, I think we may have dated for a second ;), Wes Hutchinson. My mom still rocks Wes's cd in her car and we are still great friends. Wes is the single best songwriter I have ever met. I have ALWAYS said that. His song "stay till someday" is the only song that has brought me to weeping tears at a show. He writes the most amazing songs. He wrote a couple about me actually, if you have time check out "No need to talk about it" , "All you are" and sadly (eek!) "Down in Flames" of the record of the same title. Wes taught me about god, southern food and all the best places in New York City's lower east side to see live music (some of my favorites Piano's, Rockwood Music Hall, The Bitter End, Joe's Pub). It was such a fun time. We were not right for each other but I love him and his music to this day...Hi Wesley!

Wes wrote this piece and it was never released and it made it into my mind for ART today. I used to be just a successful dancer, I got to dance for big stars, on TV and movies and with famous troupes long before you ever knew who I was. Long before people were wearing my clothes and putting me in magazines I was just this girl, in NYC, auditioning everyday and really happy with my little bitty bite of success. I started this blog because I wanted to inspire, I wanted to share my story and I wanted to let other little chickens sitting in their dance studios Friday night ballet classes to not give up! That they could do what I was doing and that it was exciting and awesome! I felt like I wanted to let people know, if they cared that, I was normal, that I struggled and that all of us who appear to have it all together are far from it. I think this song is perfect for this feeling...

"There was a girl who fell to earth
out of the sky in into the dirt
kissed the world and made it cry
I've never seen such a beautiful hurt.

She was born without a skin
the world lined up and she let them in
everybody took a piece until the day there was nothing left..."

I am not expecting to ever get to a place in life where everything makes sense and everything feels perfect. That place would be so boring to me. I adore the feeling of FEELING, being alive and going through the amazing emotions of life. Some of them are really amazing, and some of them, hurt really bad. But I have never felt more alive than when I am in a studio taking out my frustration, emotion, anger, love on a dance floor. THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.

"Horizons they are rising, and arriving for us both. So get dressed, take a deep breath and just say YES to the unknown!" - Wes Hutchinson