Last night I made a vow to go to sleep before midnight so that I could make use of a many hours as I could of this glorious Monday. So much going on, to prepare for and to do. I was blindsided this morning with the amount of breakups that can happen in just a 24 hour period, good thing I went to bed because I did need all my hours, not for errands but to digest what on earth has gone on. Is it the full moon?
First off, I've gotten many messages about the musical breakup- it is really none of my business anymore and I am not sure why y'all care so much what I think, but alas...I think that one of the conditions of being human is thinking that the grass is always greener, that if we just get to this date on a calender, or this weight, or get this job that all of a sudden it will all be ok, and that life will make sense. It never makes any, and I think we all just have to take care of ourselves, our friends and our loves so that we can have the best possible journey. I think that it was a honor to hang out and watch the tail end of the circus tour and watch them create the hippie record. I am honored that many of those songs echoed what was a really wonderful summer/winter/and spring with someone I cared for deeply and spoke of a love that I knew was real. It was a really magical time of believing that we could all change the world, believing that all you needed was love, and watching four best friends tour around the world shouting it from the rafters. (and occasionally me and a beautiful girl named Cassie getting in trouble for throwing balloons and candy into that crowd.) I remember sitting and telling ryan that I had a cool idea for a video that involved his dads old set of russian dolls I had found when I had moved all of his fathers things from his old house...and I guess that says it all... Things have changed. And it's ok. I wish them all the best. But mostly just Cassie. Love you Pilates hottie!
Second of all, the dancer breakup- I was so happy to see what was a thin and frail version of my favorite man on the planet Jerry Mitchell these past few days while he checked in at Peepshow. Jerry's momma has been sick and between setting up "catch me if you can" on Bway and the changes inside Peep and that he was a little worse for wear...and yet so gosh darn inspiring. Even with a broken heart Jerry sat and spoke to a wide eyed cast with intent and love. He Cried. He spoke about how even though some elements in our show have changed and that our growing period has been super rough on us all that he was so proud of us because it had not damaged our spirits. That our love of dance had made it possible to overcome. This echos a talk Jerry and I had a few months ago, about focusing on the really important things in life. I love Mattie with all my heart and he is so talented and kind and I know that Jerry and Him will both find happiness. (but my heart breaks for them). Jerry is someone who has put his career first and love second, and I see alot of myself in him, so driven, such a perfectionist, such passion...
Third, another breakup that I will not speak on but I will say this. Friends are it. We spend all this time talking about, singing about, reading about love. The strongest Love I have ever had is that of my 4 am friendships. That when I invite you into my life to be my friend, I will always take care of you, love you and defend you. Always. In this most difficult time, know that I am here, I love you, I will help you, and I will always think you deserve the best. And just like the sex and the city movie, get out that big hat because we are going where the sun shines bright and one day the crazy Keltie will make you laugh again. That day most likely will not be today, but you will. I promise. I love you.
On a postive note: Tommorrow I start filming for my tv show on VH1, and nervous and excited and hope I do not make a fool of myself. My mantra cuffs are on sale tommorrow and have already been spotted on "Girls Next Door" star miss. Holly Madison, broadway director Jerry Mitchell, Broadway STAR Shoshana bean and Ottawa Senators Goalie Jeff Glass! Courage. Passion. Hard Work! I also found out that Me and Miss. Chelsie Hightower will be shooting some ads together for the Fall Sugar and Bruno line next week! So excited! I guess the Karma Police have come around my neck of the woods and I am delighted. The grass looks mighty green, I'd say.
Love you all. Each and everyone of you. I mean it.
oxKC
