Friday, June 19, 2009

Wait a couple months, then you gonna see. You Ain't never find nobody better than me.

Idea. Just an idea. Thanks Sugar and Bruno for the badass dance socks!
video

I have been so busy I have had zero time to take class + get into the studio. It shows in my crap feet. Ugh. Dancing is so hard. I hate being anything but perfect. Drives me insane. So, I am working on ideas for the S+B camp I am teaching and also hanging with Albie as he gets ready to teach the opening number at Dance Masters at the same time, between the two of us we have alot of work to do. 

I really miss taking class each and everyday in NYC and feeling like I was at the top of my game, I need someone to scream at me to get my eyes off the FLOOR! I guess the lesson is that we are never done learning. Ever. Perfection will never exist. Bummer.

I love this song. I love all the covers of it. I love the line "How could you be so heartless?". Makes so much sense. At some point in all of our lives someone will do something, or many things to us that just leave us asking this question. It takes a pretty terrible person to be completely heartless and unaffected. I wonder if the human conscience just stops working. He was a really, really, really good liar. Disgusting. 

All I know is, my life is better than ever (other than my crap feet and struggling dance moves!)  I just found out that dance teacher magazine is going to be featuring my DVD this summer! The clothing line is all done! I am going to dinner with Larry King tonight (I am not sure why!) . I am smitten with a super cutie and keeping it a big secret because THIS time, I don't want people in my personal life. Trust me, I am all good in my heart. Okay, maybe like 60% good, and like 40% running scared, unsure I can trust anyone ever again, putting up walls ect)

I just think that..It is all a big journey and we have to just take these things as they come. The universe will give you so many gifts, and they won't always be the ones you want. There is time for everything, but it is not all right now. I have never, and will never give up any of my dreams for anyone else and thus, I spend alot of time alone, far away and all my boyfriends stray. I guess that is the price I have to pay for being far away, but man, to be on stage, so move my body, to watch my mom and dad swell with pride backstage at the Rockettes, to have had to chance to travel around the world, see the relics of buddha in Hong Kong and the Ocean in Spain, to have these friends I have, who laugh, cry and inspire me to no end. To have a name where anyone who says Keltie Colleen in the dance world knows who I am and what I do and will say "that girl is so crazy". It is worth more than a card on Valentines day. Really. I am beginning to think I am just never going to be a relationship girl. Doesn't bother me. We spend so much darn time looking for love, and not even close to enough time looking for ourselves. 

"Are you there?
Do you swear you won't forget me?
If I found you would you let me come and stay? 
I ain't getting any younger
And before my dying day
I want space
Not just air
Let 'em laugh in my face, I don't care
Save a place
I'll be there " - Newsies.