I don't have much to say.

Last night I watched the sun rise over a face instead of the sky. I laid on my couch and had some of the best conversation of my life until 7 am. For the first time in a really, really long time- something made sense. It was clear what I was ment to do and be. Hours later it is shady again, of course.

I was told last night that I was really good on the inside, and really good on the outside. Which is rare. I really felt like that was true. I had this moment of feeling like I was EXACTLY at the right place at the right time. It was surreal.

I am however, not good on the inside. I can lie. I have. I can hurt. I have. I can take someone forgranted in the exact way in which I have been taken. It is just when you are on the under side of this hurt you are the victim and it is all you think about, and feel- that pain. But when you are on the top of that hurt, there is some way in your head you can rationalize your malicious intent.

I know exactly what it must have felt like to have the best standing right in front of you and not be able to realize it. Know that they would never hurt you. Never leave you. Never put anything above you. And want to feel it so bad. Want to feel that it is the right thing, play along as if you could trick your heart into being smart and wanting only this goodness. I know what it must have felt like to really care about someone so much, want only the best for them, and yet in the back of your head know that there was no possible way it was going to be forever. I wonder what it is about us humans that we can never pick the choice that would be best for us. I wonder why apologies always come long after they are actually wanted. I wonder what it is about me that says, treat me badly, then like a few years later come tell me how awesome I am. Last night we talked about humans just being animals with a god complex. That makes me sad. I want to think that life is all magic and myth and movie musical soundtracks. Perhaps, it isn't though and maybe we are all animals.

Maybe I am a beast after all.

And the winners are...

Taylor Swan




Chevalier Taylor

I had the hardest time picking the winners, I would also like to give a shout out to these people:tori urie, Hanna Goetze, Alicia Aida and laura webb. They were in the finals also. Most of all thanks for all your support and love, EVERY ONE OF YOU constantly amazes me with your words, talents and hearts. XOXOXOXOXOXO


Also: It is international dance day! happy day my dancers! Enjoy this as a gift:

I Wrote This For You: The Sun Or The Moon

I Wrote This For You: The Sun Or The Moon

call all your friends, tell them i'm never coming back.

Thanks getty images!


Heres some pics from inside peepshow!!!

My pic (of course) I have fug face on, but thats because I am ACTING (pissed that the big bad wolf won't leave me alone! I am the straw piggie! )

enjoy!

faith.

I think that each and every person alive should hear this talk. I read Eat, Pray, Love many moons ago (as I am sure half the world has) and it was wonderful and hearing her speak is equal amazing.

Please take the time to watch all 19 minutes. Amazing.

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/453


Ps. The crew from SYTYCD in the crowd tonight! As well as all the Brit-Brit dancers. So cool to see so many familiar faces and have such great crowd.

werk.

Last night Tabitha and Napolean came to see Peep. Pretty rad. You might know them as choreographers on SYTYCD and they are awesome. I love the new movement in hiphop that is moving towards a new, dare I say it, Like emohop. Very cool.

Sometimes when I get upset or stressed I dance around my condo. I think about who I might be performing for and the I just make up stuff to songs that fit my mood. This is an amazing release.

Here is a picture of me in grade one. That is my bestie spagatti's sister. rad.

a big cup of tea.

Good evening world,

Hobo and I just snuggled up on the couch with a huge mug of tea and a snuggie (yes I own, and use my snuggie).

Today was some insaneness, and a great show. Jermaine Dupri and Tabitha + Napolean were in the crowd tonight which was cool. Sadly no Janet. I have been so busy I have had little to zero time to think. I do most of my thinking in my car. I prefer to do my thinking wrapped in a snuggie, so here I am thinking. Spagatti left me our journal (we have passed back and forth a journal for almost 10 years) and I got to reading some entries from way back. I found something I wrote many. many years ago and rings true today, also sadly.

Tonight, I am holding in my heart.
I pursed my lips tight so that a million blames and reasons wouldn't cry out.
I was not looking for an explanation so I left before you gave me one.
I was no longer craving any of your time so I left before I got my fill.
I was not looking into your eyes, I was looking past them into the reflection of what I thought I saw and what was actually there.
What everyone else thought you were then, and the fact that I got caught up and believed them-
instead of seeing the you that you are, instead of the you that even you fooled yourself into believing you were.
It feels so good to shine.
It lightened my heavy heart .
You like to tell me ' you are just not that guy...'
and I liked for once, that instead of wishing I could change you, I could finish the sentence for you.
"you are just not that guy that I thought you were"
and for once I am not allowing myself to be dissapointed.

I wrote this after I got dumped by my very first musician boyfriend many, many years ago. I saw him months later and I remember him being more excited to go out and sign autographs for fans than he was to spend a few hours with me and I came home and wrote this. I remember feeling like I would never find anyone that I liked more. That I would never find anyone as artsy and interesting ever again. I remember feeling like he would go on with his million dollar record contract and tour the world and I would never be able to get over him because I could never top that. I could never be better than him. I remember feeling really sad, for a really long time. I also remember him calling me up a year after we broke up and telling me that he was going to marry me one day and that he had been all around the world and that I was one in a million. I also remember him getting dropped by his label shortly after that. I also remember realizing that being "better" is only really judged on your humanity score. Things, belongings, money, fame, and that whole lifestyle is so fleeting, and the only thing that really counts is how good of a human you are, and how much love and compassion you posses. Think of who might be on the cover of US weekly if these were the things is which made us famous and adored? ~Hugh Jackman gave my friend (and boy from oz costar) 30,000 when her families house was ruined in Hurricane Katrina and never got an ounce of publicity for it. amazing.

Anyways, maybe I am a really good trainer of men. I think I have shaped some boys into pretty great lovers. I've taught a few guys how to love, maybe by them being with me, or being without me afterwards. I think I have made some guys that are gonna be pretty cool boyfriends and husbands one day to some girl. I taught them about flowers, I would like to stop being the trainer please. I would like a prepackaged superman to show up already trained in being a good human and a great lover. (Do they sell them in the skymall?).

I've been feeling low because I have had so many AMAZING things happen to me lately and no one to be proud of me. Of course, I am being stupid and I have a zillion people that are so proud of me. I suppose getting opening night flowers from your dad should feel just as great as it does from your boyfriend, but I couldn't help but be maybe slightly sad for maybe 5 seconds this week when I was one of 2 single girls without there guys at the party. I do not mind being alone. I am happy I think. Regardless of the bullshit my boyfriends have served me over the years, there was always something special about hearing "I am so proud of you" from the mouth of someone you thought was equally as special. This past January I was in Hawaii and I met a really cool older couple who asked me what I was planning on doing with my life. My answer to them was " Well, I want it all, I want to be the best dancer, a really famous choreographer that EVERY artist wants to work with, have an entire empire of dancewear, DVDs, books and help for young dancers, I want to inspire the next generation of dancers and humans, I want to write a book, be on tv, I want to be the "it" girl of dance." It was easy for me to answer that question because I think about it every single day. I think there was a good chance that the people at that table that beautiful night did not believe that I was capable of doing those things. Maybe I was so busy defending myself to strangers, or helping others that I never really focused enough to make others believe that I would, and WILL make all of this happen. I guess it feels weird for most of these things to be coming true, only a few months later and the people that I shared all these dreams with for so long are not around to tell me that they are proud. It is sad when you spend years dreaming your dreams together and then you find yourself dreaming alone. Well, I guess in the end. I am damn proud of myself. I have risen above adversity and odds to define myself.

I think one of the biggest lessons we can teach ourselves is to find acceptance within ourselves. It is easy to look outward for acceptance and love. This is one of my biggest flaws. I rarely consider something achieved unless I can show it off. Maybe when great things happen to us, or better yet, we create great things it should be enough that inside our souls and minds we know we did something amazing. Let me know if anyone feels like this is possible. I am not so sure. Is it just us showpeople that have our self worth determined by others opinions of us? Or is it everyone?

Or worse? Is it just me?

Win these!

Hey y'all.

Here is the deal. I am holding a contest. Awesome. I was so overwhelmed with your talents as artists for my tshirt designs that now I want to officially use your work! I am holding a banner design contest for my DVD "From Agents to Auditions".

I am looking for an emailable, postable, myspace commentable, little image link that shows off my dvd in the best light. Things to remember. My website www.keltiecolleendance.com, the title "From Agents to Auditions" and of course the fact that this is everything you need to know to create your dream dance career!

The top 2 winners will each win a sugar and bruno prize pack from me (and of course them! Sugarandbruno.com. werk). T-shirt, stickers, pens and other fun goodies! You will also win an autographed copy of "From Agents to Auditions".

Please submit entries by April 29th (my brothers bday!) and the winners will be posted HERE on the 30th! Send them to me at keltiecolleen@gmail.com.

ps. Let your talent shine!!!!

how could you be so heartless?

I dig.

I did Kanye's very first music video when I was a nobody and he was a nobody. I thought his name was KAIN. I danced the frug in a big sweater at a soundstage in Brooklyn. I am not a huge Kanye fan, but I dig this song. I think it might be on repeat today.

In other news I went and saw Zumanity last night, again. Dude. Zumanity is very good. I love the show. The ballerina in pasties makes me believe in beauty. SO STUNNING.

and....roll.

Hey it is earth day, the day that all the people who do not already recycle, or have SIGG's or maybe people who litter get called out, and remember that they need to do their part. I am not that girl, but I decided that love long showers. My promise to earth is that I will stop taking such long showers. Let me know if I start to smell.

It was an exciting day when I showed up at my casa and saw a huge box from Sugar and Bruno full of goodies for me! A wonderful lady I shall call miss.funk sent me out some of the line so I can start rocking the S&B look before my stuff comes out. So rad. I did a little fashion show (with hobo) enjoy. I want to give away some of these treats to you guys so stay posted on a little game we shall play. Tee Hee.

I am heading out to see Cirque to see Zumanity. I am excited. I have seen it before but I love it. Seeing the Ballerina in that show made me believe in the power of swarovski crystal pasties. Here is the great thing about right and wrong. Everyone has their breaking point. Some people think women should wear skirts below their knees and that a skinny strap is scandalous. Some people go to the topless beaches in europe. However you feel about nakedness and the degrees of nakedness that we come across in life, that is your deal. Here is my deal. I do not have a body that "society" deems sexy. I am in a show with 16 girls that do. Jerry has taught me that being "sexy" and being "hot" has nothing to do with the way you actually look and the way in which you act. Confidence is attractive. You have to get out there everyday and do whatever it is that makes you feel good about you. For me right now it is a good pair of baggy "boyfriend" jeans, a braless and flawless summer and a bowler hat.

There is something so beautiful about life right now. I feel more alive than I have in a very long time. Sorry I say "awesome" so much. I am a dork.

Sometimes I act as though I do not have big heavy thoughts going on in my head. They are ALWAYS there. Sometimes I let them go long enough to act like a goof. Sometimes I put them here.


"Maybe nobody ever changes. As much as I would love to think this is wrong. It is most likely correct. The only thing that ever really changes inside us is our understanding of consequence to our actions. Consequence is most likely responsible for shaping all of us. Individually and humanity. Another way to think of consequence is to call it fear. I love the quote in the death cab song " fear is the heart of love". Think on that for a moment.

Damien Rice just came on the pod singing "rootless tree". I love the idea that he is saying, just let me out of this, if you really loved me you would let me move on, and if you hated me enough, then just hate me enough that I could move on. But, she doesn't really love or hate him enough for either so he's stuck in it with her. That is so brutal. Like being in so much pain you wish someone would just kill you. There is a messed up symmetry in that. "

"...that knowledge without follow through is worse than no knowledge at all. Because if you are guessing and it doesn't work out, you can just say, shit, the gods are against me. But if you KNOW and don't do, you've got attics and dark halls in your mind to walk up and down in and wander about. This ain't healthy, leads to unpleasant evenings, to much drink and the shredding machine " - Charles Bukowski

I craft, therefore I am.

Sometimes I chat alot about things about me, and today, somethings NOT about me.

My girl, Luam, is hot and I love this choreo. Get it.



Mel B loved me opening night craft!! yayayayay



AND! we were on extra! check it below!
http://extratv.warnerbros.com/videos/


today is a day of work, work , work, clothes, web and bills :( enjoy the fun vids!

I think it's gonna be a long long time...

real. or fake.

Here is the thing about "reality" tv. It isn't real. But no one knows that, or maybe everyone knows that. For me, I am not an actress. I do not know how to lie. I do not know how to be anything but me. Yesterday the producers of our show got some crazy ideas about staging a little "showmance" footage. This was not okay with me. I am trying (although, I am sort of an open book at this point) to keep my personal life to myself, and I am SURE I do not want it all over tv! So I said no. Guess what happened next?

Producers asks another girl in my cast to FAKE a showmance with MY showmance! So in our "real life" tv show there is a made up scene with them! So pissed that my FRIEND and my 'MANCE agreed! WHO DOES THAT?? #1- Lame #2- Ouch.I cannot believe I am upset over this. Even my non-boyfriends cheat! or fake cheat! Do I have a sign on my forhead that says, HURT MY FEELINGS? ugh.

fast forward: Woke up this morning to a knock on my door and a very sweet guy with a apology and some flowers. You know, I've waited a very long time for someone to screw up and just be a man and show up at my door, wanting to make it right. I think it takes pretty big balls to drive across town and knock at my door until I answer and say your piece when I won't look you in the eye. I am pissed. still. But I appreciate the gesture.

BUT: This whole thing makes me realize the fact that #1- I have terrible luck with boys #2- I really, really like the feeling of being alone and never having to worry about someone else's life hurting me. I hate crying. I hate being upset. I hate being treated bad. All of these things can be avoided if I just live a life of Keltie, friends and dance and leave the romances out of it.

This is the plan.

ps. I have only been honest and true on the show, so when/if you see it. Everything is 100% true coming out of my mouth.

Green carpet!

word.

lily!

Loves this cover!

three parties on one night.

Afterparty #1- Roof of Planet Hollywood, beautiful, warm, danced my ass off to Poker Face, enjoyed some wine, friends and was impressed by the height of Trump, Sweetness of Mr. Sheen, Skinniness of Lohan, and grace of Mr. Jerry Mitchell. Reviews came flying in that PEEP was a smash, overheard from Perez, Robin Leach and the press that was there. Very Exciting, looks like the reccession can't get me down! So proud of all the cast and crew for really leaving it all out on the floor last night, it was ELECTRIC! Standing back stage with Kelly before our entrance and just held her hand and said "This is live theatre baby, enjoy opening night, there is nothing else in the world like it!". So true, NOTHING gets me as high as opening night. Pure Magic.

Afterparty #2- Prive, Inside PH, danced my ass off to "so what", another amazing heart to heart with my girl Kelly Monaco and her momma, might, or might not have said the word "showmance" to the tv crew! oops! Hung with my awesome agent mr. freer and let caution to the wind. Wanted someone to clone Emily and Kristen's amazing boyfriends Jay and Trey (rhymes!) and make a magic seed I can plant to grow one. :) Feet hurt so bad. Saw Fergie Ferg and also told Mr. Big that his wife is HOT (she is!)

Afterparty #3- Kelly's Suite, ate brie, drank more wine, 50 stories up in the air overlooking the strip. Spagatti was a mess! Watched the sound designer Nick do tricks on Kelly's in room stripper pole. Very funny. Took a cab home (NEVER EVER DRINK AND DRIVE!) and called it a night after sneaking backstage to grab all my flowers and other opening night gifts!


Last night was one of the greatest in my life. There are some things I wish had been different, but I am learning to accept that this is where the universe wants me to be! A little social butterfly instead of a fly on the wall.

Do you guys like my dress? The gays and costume designers voted me best dressed! A sensible feather, sparkle and red lip!

OPENING NIGHT AT PEEPSHOW!

Tonight is the night! Spagatti is here, ironing his shirt, I am almost done some hair + MU prep and have packed up and soon we will head to the theatre for show, red carpet, gala, and after party. Looks as though as long as we are in bed by noon tommorrow we can get a full 7 hours before my next show. My girl kesh and her man are on a plane on their way from the west coast also. Cannot wait to see my southern belle.

If you would have asked me when I signed this contract in December what my life would be like when this show actually opened, I could not have told you the story of the last few months. Putting up Peepshow has been the MOST challenging thing I have ever done. So many changes, long days and such an emotional ride. Bottom line, you can never trust anyone 100% be it, an agent, the word of someone, a producer or even sadly, a friend. But you can stay true to yourself, learn from everything and give every in your life a chance to be better everyday. It doesn't matter what you think you are like, you have to ACT a certain way if you want people to see you that way. If you believe you are a great person, and act like a trouble-maker and do bad things, then people will think of you that way. Actions will always speak louder than words. You are what you do. So hug, laugh, support, be honest, be true and be FEARLESS.


Peepshow is going to be a hit. It is delicious. Cannot wait. See you at noon tommorrow :)

Cannot sleep

I am WAY to excited for tommorrow.

Had an amazing day when I walked into the theatre and saw THIS! A huge keltie, in full Lil P (piggie) costume on the pillar as you enter the theatre. Makes me so proud and make me think that my legs might be my best asset. Hee hee.

Got to hang by the pool, reality tv style, all day and then did the show tonight with my awesome agent Christopher Freer in the audience, he feels like a dad to all the cast kids ( there are 11 clients from Clear Talent Group in this show! Werk!) and it was great to see him. I have to pick up spagatti in a few hours at the areo, buy opening night cast gifts and then get pretty for some red carpet and the show, I cannot wait as I know the energy will be amazing. Also excited for our rooftop opening night gala and after party! PEEPSHOW!!!!!

As you might have heard my pal Kelly Monaco is judging Miss. USA on sunday, I am going and cannot wait to see all the pretty dresses.

Great convo with Mel and her hubby about empire building tonight. She's a rad chick. Girl power.

Hobo seems depressed. I think she misses our old roomies deliah and bono. Should I get another puppy? a cat?

WISH ME LUCK Y'ALL. WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!

hot.

Hot.

Fearless!

There will come a point in your life, or maybe every single day of your life where you will get to choose between doing something comfortable, easy and painless or something scary, uncomfortable and painful. You will have to choose between doing what everyone else is doing or standing strong in your own beliefs. You will have to choose to follow your own dreams and wake up everyday of your life in a new city, with a new boss and a new teapot. You will never have a permanent address. You will only take with you what can fit in 4 boxes. Sometimes you will be rich and sometimes you will be very very poor. You will give your heart to someone fully and very carefully only to have it smashed on the floor. You will watch people ruin their lives and know that you can only fix yourself. You will wake up everyday and decide to either lay in bed all day where it is safe and warm or get up, get out there and go to that 900th audition. You can choose to give up when everyone else does, or you can... be fearless.

I will not be afraid of anything, I won't hide my heart, feelings, passion, or trust away because I am scared I might get hurt again. I won't be afraid to keep following all my dreams no matter how rocky the road gets. I won't be afraid when my body gives out, I will just listen and take care of her a little better. I will not fear loss, love or luck. I know they are all on my side.

FEARLESS!

i wonder.

I wonder if there will ever be a night where I do not dream about you. I guess my subconcious still wished things were different.

The Peep weekend begins!

Tommorrow launches us into official peepshow opening weekend! Tons of press and events and lots of fancy dresses! Just the way I like it. Tommorrow I am getting my new tattoo as a celebration of making it to this point! FEARLESS!!!!!!!

Above is the scan of an article that is in Las Vegas Magazine about the show, I was interviewed and managed to get ONE line in! Yay. With Kelly and Mel (or as I call them Melly) are the 6 lead character ladies, and Josh and our giant pumpkin set piece. Very cool shot I thought.

I am listening to Roxette right now, and singing along, drinking some awesome detox tea and I just finished the touches on all the opening night gifts I crafted! Over 45 of them! WHOA. I must be a nerd! ...duh.

enjoy.

my life now.

Finally some time to really write.

Someone said something to me yesterday that I have not been able to stop thinking about. They said " girls, being vunerable is so atrractive." I wonder if this is my problem. In the past I never allowed anyone I was dating to ever see my fears, insecurities and emotions unless they were happy, strong and confident. Many times I did not feel that way but I was under the assumption that I needed to be confident and not like a whiny scared chicken. It is funny I guess. I have had a couple of girlfriends get the "I just don't want a girlfriend right now" kiss off in the past year. These were strong, assertive women who had their own awesome careers, lives and futures. Only weeks later is seems these guys DID want girlfriends, but the girlfriends they wanted were girls who had nothing better to do then to follow them around, say yes to everything and live THEIR lives.

Maybe I scare people, maybe the fact that I do not want to FOLLOW anyone around makes me unattractive. Maybe the fact that I can take care of myself and at the same time take care of others is unattractive. Maybe the fact that I have my own money, career, life, agent, clothing line, company scares people. Maybe the fact that it is rare for me to need help makes me ugly. Maybe I make men not feel like men because their role becomes sidekick lover and not leader. Maybe on the dancefloor I always try to lead the salsa.

I just wonder sometimes, why, why WHY someone wouldn't want a beautiful, fun, successful, sweet, has her shit together kind of girl? Why am I working so hard on being GOOD and ENLIGHTENED if the guys always seem to want the girls who are just strolling through life without purpose. Seems backwards. Although I wouldn't expect anything less from the complicated species of male.

I've been through alot the last week, lots of press, rehearsals, my mommy came to visit, and we are just a few days away from opening night. Each day is an emotional roller coaster. I've been working really hard on my new website, and shirts from Sugar and Bruno. I've had some fun too. We went out and did some party time this week also. Weird to be wearing a mic the whole time through life, but I really think our tv show will be cool and give the public a look behind some real people instead of that fake hills crap. These are people who are artists, without trust funds, and BMWs, just living, creating and working. There is no script, just film :)


What a jagged little pill.

win a dvd!

http://www.dancespirit.com/

Hey y'all, please visit dance spirit and enter to win one of my dvds "From Agents to Auditions!" I gave them five to send out to the people who enter and win! Very cool. Good thing to do on a tuesday night...

xoKC

passion.

wow factor? hee hee

" I am an Idealist. I don't know where I am going, but I am on my way" - Carl Sandburg

Smoke 3.

There are only a few things that move me to tears, this did. A women, maybe a little lost in her own skin, learning to live again, learning to exist again, and her legs...her talent. I sat and had an amazing conversation with Matt Trent who was a principle dancer for the Royal Ballet as well as the Australian Ballet. What an amazing man. He introduced me to Sylvie and her legs and talent. So amazing.

Life is art, and I love the fact that she expresses so brilliantly what I feel right now.

scans mans.

Here are some scan of my article incase you didn't buy it or can't find it. I would love it, if you love it, or even if you hate it to hop over to www.dancepspirit.com and leave some feedback, you might even end up in print in the next issue! They took a big risk putting me on the cover and I know they are wondering what y'all think.

Hanging with Shannon was awesome, she gave me an amazing juicy peace necklace that I wear everyday now. I am glad her pretty mug is in the mag too. I've been talking about how I have
been pretending to be so great lately and my friend said to me, "you do not need to pretend to be great, because you are great." Self-Esteem is such a weird thing. One little thing can mash you to the ground and it takes 50 bazillion things to build you back up. Doesn't seem like the right ratio does it?

Off to the theatre, visitors in the audience tonight for me, as well as my on camera "confession" for the tv show. I shall try to say smart good things! eek. I am such a goofball.

Enjoy the article!
love Keltie.

ps. HOW EXCITED ARE WE ABOUT SUGAR AND BRUNO????
very.

press release!

Above: my fav. Sugar and Bruno shirt by Lacey, check out sugarandbruno.com


SUGAR AND BRUNO ANOUNCES NEW PARTNERSHIP

Indianapolis, IN, April 9, 2009- Sugar and Bruno partners with Keltie Colleen.

Sugar and Bruno announces today that they will be adding dancer Keltie Colleen to the Sugar and Bruno family. Sugar and Bruno began talking to Keltie in February at the DRN Expo in Las Vegas and is excited about the new partnership.
Keltie first got the notice of Sugar and Bruno during the 2009 DRN Expo Fashion Show. “She stood out. Her smile, energy, and movement set her above the rest” says S&B rep Jen Funk. “I was even more impressed that she sought US out after the show to introduce herself and express her love of the line.” Of her upcoming designs Keltie says, “My mantra has always been courage. passion. hard work. And this is going to be the inspiration for these shirts.”

Keltie will be doing a few designs for Sugar and Bruno’s new Back to School line for 2009 that will be out later in the year. Her designs will be inspired by her love of dance, passion for life, as well as ideas from her fans. Keltie was most recently on the cover of Dance Spirit Magazine for the April issue cover story. She is also well know for her work with the Rockettes, New Jersey Nets, Fergie at Fashion Rocks, and Disney’s Enchanted, not to mention her relationship with Panic at the Disco’s Ryan Ross and incredibly popular Blog.

Sugar and Bruno is committed to supporting young and passionate dancers and helping them achieve their goals in the competitive world of dance. They have teamed up with other fresh young dancers in the past including Lacey Schwimmer, Chelsie Hightower, Kameron Bink, and Nick Demoura.
To learn more about Sugar and Bruno or Keltie Colleen check out www.sugarandbruno.com. and Keltie’s blog at http://highkicksandhighhopes.blogspot.com/.

one more....and goodnight.

The first rock and roll song actually written for me. I know, I know, something about me must be muse-like? Wes has a large part in "Rockettes, Rockstars and Rockbottom". I think my mom still has his cd in her car. He's rad, we are still friends and I wouldn't have traded those tiny cups of tea for anything.





"We spent much of our time in his east village studio apartment. We shopped at a small store in the east village called Tiny Spaces which sold mini cups, desks and couches perfectly fit for 8 x 6 new york city apartments. Rocker and I spent alot of time on his tiny couch, drinking tiny cups of tea saving the tiny amount of money we actually had."- R,R + R

Atomictom forever!

My very favorite band from Brooklyn New York. Had an nice chat with Luke today online and he is just inspiring and awesome.



"tried to find the things she sees on movie screens and magazines, but it's all a lie, she'll never find it"

Agents to Auditions!!

a couple of bananas and a bottle of booze.

Hey good morning world. I feel amazing. It is sunny and warm in sin city. I slept amazing. Last night was a dancers friday night and we had fun at Striphouse hanging with the crew and cast. I met the men that are producing the new show at the Wynn as well and Bob Martin AMAZING!!! who WROTE, yes WROTE the drowsey chaperone for Broadway. They actually stopped me in the parking lot as I was leaving to tell me that they thought I was amazing in the show and that they could not take their eyes of my eyes and smile on stage and that they just finished having a conversation about me to Jerry. AMAZING! I really needed that, as I am not sure that Jerry was very happy with me with week :(

Last night in the audience was Ryan Seacrest and Brooke Burke. Nice.

So wanted to introduce you all to our tv crew. They follow us everywhere and we wear mics all the time. Everytime I leave the dressing room these guys are standing there. It is VERY strange. They are really cool guys though. I just hope they do not sabotage us in traditional reality tv style! eek. Also, the girls are monica and allie, and of course there is a picture of me and JERRY MITCHELL!! ahhhh. awesome.

I finished reading my book, or what is done of it to albie last night. I cried during reading it and he put his head on my lap and told me to stop, and that he didn't want to hear any more of this story, or me talk about myself that way. He also said that he thinks it is great. Some of it is hard to read. This book covers my 8 years living in nyc. A wide span of time, and many many different lives. A few of my favorite sentences...

" ..and once again I felt defeated. I was so lost, and it was not just because I was below 14th street and in the tangled web that is the east village. "

" I am not sure that I ever found him really attractive, he was like a strange bird in a zoo. You couldn’t help but stare and move closer because clearly he was something unimaginable."

I am off to enjoy my day off. Take a deep breath. Life is good friends, it really is.

morning!

Today I shall dance all day, do a show and then take some time off to get out of my sweatpants and actually be social. So much drama happening at the show, and lucky for you it is all caught on tape for our tv show! So strange to walk around with a mic on all day. I really need to stop talking about my private parts. hee hee. I miss class, and I miss New York. I miss lyrical class with Chris Hale.

I have so many awesome things to look forward to this month. Mommy's visit, D's visit, Spagatti's visit (note to dancers, always better to take bestie to opening night gala's, WAY more fun!) the show opening, crafting completed and days when I can hang with hobo more.

enjoy the video. Story of my life. seriously. I feel like he is singing a convo I have had.

oh hello.

again.
20 days.


Hot damn.
Keltie (yes, it is third person) is singing oh canada.

box.

I kept almost nothing of you around. It made me sick to see those things. I bought a hard drive and moved every picture and video and hid them away in the bottom of a box. I took the painting you painted for me and wrapped it in tissue, you wanted me to have those painted flowers forever, and now, never again. I took the book, the cd and the shirt I ordered because I wanted to always feel like I was supporting you, even when my money didn't matter, and put them in the bottom of that box also. I left every card, every flower, every picture frame, ever ticket stub from every movie we ever saw, I left the ticket stub from our first date, I left the ticket stub from our last date hours before I left you and the time you pulled me closer and told me Billy Joel was singing "she's got a way" just for me. I left everything you ever gave me. I only took the very first love letter you ever wrote me, the one where you promised to never hurt me, where you told me how lucky you felt to be loved by me, and in it promised me the world.

I moved this week and I found that box. I was wondering how it would feel to see those things again. It felt terrible.

today.

follow me.

Empowerment is a pretty spectacular thing. I've been thinking, talking and living alot of "girl power" lately. Maybe it is because Mel walked into my life, maybe it is because I get to dance onstage with 16 of the most beautiful, confident women I have ever seen each night. Maybe it is the look in the audiences eyes when I catch them looking at me and I know they are thinking, if only I had the "huspa" to strut around as sure of themselves as I appear to be. Good thing I am a great actor. ha! Convo's included this tid bit: "I judge myself way harder than anyone else, so who cares? Your work doesn't define you as a person, the mere thought of everyone liking what you do is unreal and the very basis of art is opinion. I am not intrested in being good. Everyone is good. I want to be great. Unless you are great you won't be remembered"


I've been very worried about what my younger followers would think of me for putting myself in a burlesque show. The show is sexy. I cannot lie. Taken out of context I think it can be misunderstood. However, if I read you the resumes of the people invloved, lights, sound, designers, directors then you might just think it was the sassiest broadway show ever produced. We are making a tv show for e! or something like that and have cameras following us constantly. I wondered if people would be weirded out about some of the sassier costumes. I know alot of the dancers who look up to me are a little bit younger and I just want to say this I guess. I think that society places this ban on women ever appearing strong, confident and sexy at the same time. You are either smart, or you are hot, CHICKS! it is okay to be both. It is fine to be SMART enough to take any job someone as famous as Jerry Mitchell offers you, and pretty much put yourself in his good books for whatever new Broadway smash he directs and at the same time be HOT enough to have people pay 181.00 a seat to watch you dance.

Mostly, being empowered is amazing because when you start making your own choices, based just on what is best for you and not what everyone else might think, say or do to you as a result you feel so in control and powerful. It is ok to be strong, even if everyone wants you to back down. Hold your heads up! Kick your legs up! and most of all...Thanks for following me on this journey.

ps. Avril and skater boy and the cast of friday night lights in the audience tonight. Please god let Jason Mraz come to the show when he is town and fall madly in love with me and want to sing me songs all day long. Please? no? okay. whatever.

pps. The amazing bryan Hainer shot this for me. It was his idea. I went in to get some awesome shots for my new site. Those I can show later. This pic to me is so strong and fearless. Loves. Check out bryans work at www. bryanhainer.com

backstage at PEEP!

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/mel-bs-peep-show/3819197673/?icid=VIDLRVENT06


So awesome. Doesn't the show look cool!

this is where we used to live.

I slept spooning with hobo last night and her velvet ears fell on my pillow. I have a new home. I have a new teamaker. I read the first half of my book out loud last night to Albie. All he could say was " heavy". I have so much to say but so much drama has happened in the last 24 hours that I am almost completely ready to get back into bed and it is morning.

Met Bette Milder last night and all she said to Emily was " you have a hit on your hands". Between the docu-crew following our every move, some last minute changes and the fact that I am about 14 years old in my ability to handle stress yesterday was not good. The show was good, but my soul was not. Going to rectify that this morning.

I wonder if there will ever come a time where I do not have to think about being a better, bigger stronger person. If like riding a bike I will just wake up one day and be able to handle myself correctly. My path to enlightenment is really rocky.

Seems to me that hot blondes are replaceable in every area of life. I like to think something about me is so special that I cannot be replaced with someone else's warm body, or someone else's hot dancing body, and this just is not the case. We are all replaceable and maybe none of us really matter except to ourselves. How is that for depressing?

"I know we don't live here anymore, we bought an old house on the dance floor"

werk.

so much radness. mostly because of my romper.

books and boys.

“ I was thinking about how you said I could always trust you.
I was Skeptical.
You said I HAD to trust you.
I wanted to believe you.
You BEGGED me to trust you.
You were so earnest, so persuassive, so charming. SO boyish and sincere.
I said I knew that if I could learn to trust you, it would make me a better person in so many ways.
You wrapped your arms around me.
I allowed myself to be convinced.
You begged me to trust you.
And i did.

You said I was the one person in your life with whom you could always be open, honest and revealing. You said I was the last person on earth you would ever want to hurt.
You said I meant so much to you...so very much...and always would.
You said, I would never never never want to hurt you.
I said, If I didn’t already love you so much, I would love you even more.


-diane schoemperlen, At a loss for words.

I am reading this amazing book. This quote makes me seem like I am still pinning away, but I am not however, I just had to show it because I think it sums up what so many of us feel, at some point. I love the way Diane writes. She writes directly to her subject and it reads like a journal entry. This is the same style I am using in parts of my book. It is very honest. Love that.
I am sorry I haven't been on here lately. Work and life have been insane. Working 12 hours days to get the show ready, plus press and then moving and being a mommy too. It is alot. I am looking forward to a long winters nap at some point in 2010.

Tommorrow our show has it's soft opening, the public comes but we still make changes up until our official opening April 12. The show is great. Mel's costumes get skimpier and mine get more covering, love that too. Tried to steal her marc jacobs ankle boots but no luck. Access Hollywood came and I put pasties on the host, I hope that makes it on to tv. Yesterday Loftiss fell through the stage, thankfully she just cut her self up alot and can keep dancing. Also found out that there is going to be a "making of Peepshow" tv show. Juicy shit people. We have a million cameras following us around at all times, and mics over our heads no matter what we say. I figure Allie going on stage without panties, and loftiss falling through the stage is good tv for day one. I am thinking about starting a showmance, for great tv purpose only, I suppose I would have to find a showman first.

Gotta go get my keys to my condo, photoshoot with the amazing Bryan Hainer and then busy unpacking. Not much of a day off.