I feel like I have been reborn. Here I am sitting at my Spagatti's house in Queens. This place is one of the few constants I have ever had in my adult life. We moved to NYC the same year over 7 years ago and he has always lived here and I have lived in about 15 different places. It is a crappy apartment. I just killed a giant cockroach. The baseboards have dust on them that would give my mother a heart attack. I love it more than I love most things. There is a giant Canadian flag over his bed and a store manniquen named mandy that is wearing a gold sequin tube top and a leather rolling stones skirt in the living room.
Did Vegas even happen? I know I was there. I think I spent most of it some gut wrenching self-absorbed playing victim daze.
Anyways, New York is beautiful tonight. I walked back here from the subway and just the smell, the air, the people sitting on their stoops, the moon. There is just so much beauty here. You know how when you go clothes shopping and you try on 15 pairs of jeans and nothing fits right? But then you try on one pair and it just is exactly right in everyway. That is what NYC feels like to me. It is my perfect fit.
There is a line in this Mozella song that says
"But I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life"
Ps. Finally got footage of the MJ tribute. Check us out!
choreography by Nick Kenkel.
