Friday, September 25, 2009

fear and love = peanut butter and jelly.

My girlfriend Fire (nickname you know how I roll) recommended that I read this book called "Unfinished Business". It is her birthday today and he amazing husband Carlos got her the new kindle. If there is one thing I am lusting over it is the Kindle. There is a piece of me that is sort of obsessed with hoarding books too. I am torn. Thoughts?

Anyways, the book is amazing. This passage stood out to me last night as I was reading and I wanted to share it with you all...

"We come together to learn various levels and aspects of love, for love is never static, but always evolving. Love is simultaneously random and ordered, so intangible and yet a part of everything, and when we attempt to limit it or categorize it, we get into trouble.The opposite of love is fear. If there were no love, there would only be fear. Whenever there is an absence of love, it feels unnatural to us. Unfortunately there is more fear in the world than love. Too many people are at war with one another on so many levels, and the effect is totally jarring. " - Unfinished Business by James van Praagh

I thought about this when I walked into rehearsal this morning. Rockette rehearsals are THE most intense thing I have ever been a part of. We work very hard. It is very easy to become overwhelmed very quickly. When all this choreography is being thrown at you and your mind is full and it all feels like a giant mess inside your brain it is so easy to just give up and let that frustration dictate the rest of your day. I try to walk into each day fearlessly. I make it a point to smile, even when I want to cry. Even in a case like this when perfection is expected on a daily basis, we have to give ourselves some slack. We have to just do the very best we can at all times and we cannot fear making those huge mistakes. It gonna happen on the dance floor, and in your life. I like to live FULLOUT and FEARLESS. When I make a mistake, everyone knows it. We have this saying in Rockettes called "strong and wrong". This is when someone makes a mistake but they were giving it, 100%! I do the same thing in my after dance life. I love hard. When I choose to feel a certain way I do it with all my being. So justly, when I make a mistake. I make a big one that is clearly noticeable.

I feel like each big mistake is our chance to start over. I have learned far more from my mistakes than I ever have from the stuff that just made sense right away. We have to learn to make a mistake and move on, learn from it, try our best to correct it, and love ourselves throughout it all. Each day is a new day for it to be day one. We cannot allow ourselves to fear the fallout of our mistakes. We have to replace that fear with love and accept that mistakes happen. I mess up all the time. You are gonna mess up all the time too. But I love myself and I love you too.

And I love this...