Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Chaos is a great teacher.

My favorite day in Vegas was when Hobo and I went hiking at Red Rock.

Working with Jerry Mitchell was a dream come true.

I loved spending my days off at Wet Republic with my girlies.

I am so glad that I got to shoot TWICE with the amazing Bryan Hainer.

I thought I was in heaven that I got to WORK with Mel B. She was such an amazing inspiration to me + full of girl power.

Today is my last day in Vegas. I was reflecting last night on the past 7 months here and all that has changed and how much I have grown. The girlies were all commenting on this also. It is amazing what life can throw at you. I moved out here thinking that finally I would have it all at the same time. My dream job, my dream doggie, my dream home and my dream heart all together in one place after fighting against the tides for almost 3 years. It seemed that from the minute I arrived that Las Vegas had it out for me. Suddenly half of my perfect world was gone, I was in the hospital, I got in a car wreck, I knocked my front two teeth out, the show was changing, the cast was changing, we were in the midst of a very stressful opening while being taped for our tv show, I met albie and we became inseparable and then completely separated, my mom visited 3 times, my best friend got her heart broken big time, they dyed my hair orange at work, I got the flu, I got strep throat, I got a lung infection... I really remember wanting to give up.

But I have come out of my months here so much stronger and with so much peace in my heart. I choose forgiveness for those people who hurt me. I choose to take better care of myself so that I won't be ending up in any more hospital beds, I choose to believe that above all else in my heart of hearts I am a good person. I make mistakes, I have flaws but my intentions are always for the best. I have spent these months in a sort of isolation. Far away from all my best friends and my city. I got to spend alot of time thinking about what it is that I am really searching for in life and all the things that I expect out of myself and others.

I still want it all at the same time, and I always will. I just think that my plan has to include NYC...I am leaving all my sins in sin city and starting fresh in my city. What could be better!