Friday, August 21, 2009

I just finished an amazing memoir called "Perfection" by Julie Metz. I was struck by the cover art and the use of the word "renewal" on the cover and brought this story home to enjoy. I read this passage at the end of the story and was struck by how well it fit into my heart

"Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, the only truth that saves us from eating ourselves alive and causing damage to everyone we love. I continue to work on forgiveness. I do not, however, wish to forget any of this.
I have concluded in the aftermath of everything that I am a terrible judge of character. My friends laugh and assume I am joking when I declare this, but it is not a laughing matter for me. The problem is those brief fits of exuberant optimism that sometimes cloud my first impressions. I won't always see through the beautiful smile, the clever remark, or the practiced gesture. I find that I need to allow myself many meetings to make the right measure of a person. Cathy and Henry remain in my mind as toxic person, the likes of whom I hope to never encounter again at an intimate level. I believe that I have, at last, learned ti identify other such persons. I see them now at parties, in shoppes. I try to observe their confusion, and connect it to my own confusion as another struggling human. I can engage such people in polite conversation if required, but I do not want them in my life.
On a good day I can tell myself that Cathy is another imperfect human, for whom I have a good deal of sincere compassion. On such a day I can remind myself of the bottomless tragedy of Henry's choices. On a great day, I do not think of him at all. I am doing my best, living my life, in the present moment."

It if funny that I got to this part of her story just today, after writing and thinking about this yesterday. Sometimes I think that there is a magical universe that switches around the ends of books and made for tv movies so that they fit directly into whatever my heart wants to say that day. If you have time check this amazing by emily shock. can't post it.

I have been so overwhelmed by the Fearless Essay's. Remember you have until the 31st to enter.