Hi. I have been really sick. It takes alot for a workaholic girl like me to not get out of bed, or even open my laptop for 3 days. I've missed you. What I have been doing besides getting utterly behind in all aspects of life is sleeping about 20 hours a day in puddles of my own feverish sweat and then watching LOST. I actually turned on my tv. Pretty amazing. I am about half way through season two (don't ruin it for me kay?).
I think what is so interesting about lost, and about life is this huge fear of the unknown. People scrambling worried about what might be out there, what is gonna happen and what the future holds. I am more of a John Locke myself. I feel like I got dumped into this world, this world where really, alot of it doesn't make sense, not to actually ever make sense of it. Instead to enjoy it and to experience it. It was MY destiny to be apart of all this. Granted I am not tying other people up, or blowing up hatches but, I see so many people running around with the same sentence on their lips "what am I gonna do now?", maybe they are speaking of their jobs, their houses, their families, losing something they love or even their hearts questions, the answer is so easy and there for all of us to see..
"whatever you want."
Many years ago when I was first starting my dance career in NYC I would constantly worry, I would sit with my best friend spagatti and talk and talk about what was next, what would happen to us and worry, worry, worry, he would say to me, and still to this day says to me "You are Keltie Colleen, dammit, something always comes up."
I guess we need to realise that the unknown isn't scary because it is bad. It is scary because we make it that way. Instead of fearing the future, try this instead, open your arms and heart to what is next. Keep those lessons you have learned from the past and proceed faithfully into whatever is next. Everything is ok. Something will come up. I promise.
PS. I am starting to read all the fearless essays tommorrow. You have until the 31st to enter. Go here. www.sugarandbruno.com to enter.
PPS. Bent- Matt Natahson is the best medicine. If he could just show up on my doorstep and sing I am pretty sure I would be able to get out of bed. Maybe not.
