as if a good thing could ever make up for all the pain.

something not finished. the fearless tank in motion. me spitting on floor.

You get to a point in life where you just have to laugh. You get to a point where you see things for what they are + they are a tabby cat (Bukowski. go read it). You know it is crazy when Bukowski starts to make sense. Crazy doesn't look good on anyone.

I have been reading + crying through "my sister's keeper". Being someone who had an ill fsmily member for many years I can relate to the wanting so bad to fix someone you cannot fix. Jodi Picoult says the most amazing thing on page 368.

"...because I don't know how to say what I really want to: that the people you love can surprise you everyday. That maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do, but rather what we are capable of when we least expect it."

I love loving a book so much that I get excited to crawl into bed at night to read it. Like going on a great date or spending time with a good friend. I get to jump back into the story each night. Love that. Thinking about what Jodi said, I couldn't help but be moved by the fact that when I least expected to, I found parts of me that I thought were gone forever. My good friend Mel said on the phone to me today, "Keltie! You are back! Oh how I missed you so!" I am smiling for no reason. I am skipping. Laughing. I have a small army of incredibly witty oddballs who totally adore me. It's enough. :)