It is becoming clear to me that I am a control freak. I think I have covered this up by saying I am "driven" when in fact. I just tend to control everything. I take care of everyone even when they do not need it. It is really getting to me. It means that I create the outcome of every situation I enter into. Last night, in just a few hours I created an afterparty with endless supplies, got the guys a gig playing for Robert in Cancun at the hard rock, got a suite so no one had to drink and drive and then some... It gets kinda boring always being the "go to". I am waiting patiently for the world to come and knock me off my feet and give me a life changing expirence that controls me.
The last time I felt that way was in Hawaii when I went swimming with a pod of wild dolphins. I was completely small and scared and amazed. I have never felt so alive.
I guess this is why I get so obsessed with the things that I cannot have. What a human fatal flaw I possess. I always want more. I give too much. I expect too much. I can be way too charming for my own good. Charm is a dangerous, dangerous thing.
People always say that we control our own destiny. I love that. But for once I would love destiny to come sweep me of my feet and completely surprise me with something delicious. I would love to live without a self made map.
Last night was the movie premiere of "The Goods" here in Las Vegas. It was alot of fun and a really funny movie. I got to meet Dane Cook + Kid Rock and a bunch of other rads and it was awesome to share this fun expirence with my new castmate (and very old, very good friend) Kristen. We walked the carpet, saw the movie, went to the after party and then I met the owner of the "koi" and we were treated to an amazing dinner and drinks all night long. I am a homebody but I adore a fun night out, getting dressed up and acting silly.
