Thursday, November 5, 2009

Stage Right End Girl take two

First thing is first. I am WAY behind of designs. Remember when this was supposed to be done months ago? I want to know what you guys think of this hoodie! The arms will have thumb holes. What do you like? What would you change? Do you think Black is the way to go? Let me know. PLEASE. I have been staring at the computer screen for so long I am not even sure that I am making good choices!

My friend once said to me "How you spend your days, is how you spend your life." My job is really, really difficult. I could try to explain it to you and after sitting for hours listening you would most likely still not have an understanding of the mental and physical strains I place on myself. I could try to explain how during the 15th kick line of the day when each of my legs burns fire each time I lift it and what it feels like to know that there just is not an option. Kick or Die. Really.

I am terrible at alot of things in life. I am messy. Unrealistic. Terrible speller. I eat pretty much only 5 foods consistently. My knitting skills are pretty pathetic. I never pick up the phone. I, most likely, won't remember your birthday. I am not really very good at tap dancing.

I am good at some things too. Making people happy. Smiling. Skipping. Enjoying myself. I have a life force that has yet to be matched by many people I have stood beside (with the exception of Miss. Loftiss). I really love what I do. I really love the people I share life with. I am really good at living in the moment. The universe has sent me some HUGE wake up calls as of late about life, expired time and how special and monumental each day is.

I am homeless. I have a suitcase and a PO box and not much else. I do not know what city I will be living in 8 weeks from now. I won't have a job. I don't have a boyfriend, a husband, or even a showmance. I don't have anyone to tuck me in at night or make sure I am okay. I don't have anyone to send me flowers this opening night. I have not seen my best friend in over 2 years. I have not seen my doggie in almost 5 months. My life is in a constant state of unknown. But I do know this. I am so lucky. To be alive. To be here. To be part of the 0.0004% of people who have their childhood dreams come true. I refuse to accept that the way people treat me, both good and bad, is anything less than the greatest gift I could ever receive. I have grown from a scared little seed girl into a beautiful flower woman with lessons from both hate and love. Sometimes the things you do not get are greater gifts than the things you do.

I am so lucky to do what I love, Love what I do and have the best people around me to share it with.