Monday, November 30, 2009

the perks of being a wallflower.

I have this feeling, and you might to, that these passages sum up all of me in just a few short words. Maybe that is what makes a great book, song, or blog entry...great. The ability for the reader/listener to trade places with the characters and, for once, be able to explain EXACTLY what happened.

I have jumped around the truth for months and now finally I feel like I do not have to be the one to tell the story, I can just let you read this, and you might see me, or you inside. I swear I have never felt more okay than I did reading this book.

"you see things. you keep quiet about them. and you understand"

"all I cared about was the fact that sam got really hurt, and I guess I realized at that moment that I really did love her, because there was nothing to gain, and that didn't matter."

"Its like he would take a photograph of sam and the photograph would be beautiful. And he would think the reason the photograph was beautiful was because of how he took it. If I took it I know the only reason it was beautiful was because of sam. "

I would like to replace the word 'picture' with 'song'. My song, the one about the moon and sun, it was beautiful because it was true. It happened. Yes, it was beautifully written, but that is not what made it beautiful. I was waiting for someone to explain to me how that works. Thank you Charlie.

"It was an old 45 record that had the Beatles song “someting". I used to listen to it all the time when I was little and thinking about grown up things. I would go to my bedroom window and stare at my reflection in the glass and the trees behind it and just listen to the song for hours, I decided then that when I met someone I thought was as beautiful as the song, I should give it to that person, And I didn't mean beautiful on the outside. I meant beautiful in all ways. So, I was giving it to Sam."

I miss the Beatles so much. Christina promises me that they come back. I am still not so sure. I seem to have everything back except them. Maybe I have none of it back, my mom says I am acting crazy. I cannot help it. How do you silence your heart?

and finally..

"She wanted to see him to have some closure and I guess she was lucky enough to get it because Craig was nice enough to tell her that she was right to break up with him. And that she was a special person. And that he was sorry and wished her well. It’s strange the times people choose to be generous.
The best part was that sam didn't ask him about the girls he might be dating even though she wanted to know. She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time."