Wednesday, August 18, 2010

When I was a little girl my mom used to sing me James Taylor's "you've got a friend" as a lullaby. I always remember one line from that song

They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them

The most important thing you can do for yourself when things go wrong and you lose it all is to try your very hardest not to lose yourself. Especially in the line of work I do, it is easy, when you face disappointment to forget the light that shines from inside you. We work and work and work and with every rejection that light fades, just a little. Even people like me who seemingly have so much to be bright about feel that way. Sometimes you just feel your insides die a little.

You just have to try so hard to not let other peoples opinion's of you, affect your opinion about yourself, your talents and your dreams.

It's nearly impossible, and might be the reason I spent most of my day in tears. Sometimes people just break you down, and you just have to lay around broken until a fresh new days starts and you are feeling a little stronger.

I wish so badly I could tell you that courage and passion and hard work always pay off, but right now I am in the middle of wondering if I wasted ten years of my life.

Thinking about becoming a librarian now.