last night I woke up to the sound of a fire alarm. I ran to the door to open to it to see what was going on and the hallway was filled with smoke and smelled like burnt wires. my legs wanted to be paralyzed with fear but I grabbed my phone and ran to the stairs. the stairs were packed with dance dads and moms carrying little dancers with pink rollers in their hair, and most people were without shoes or coats. The scary part was that the stair was not moving. We were stuck. I've considered myself particularly brave but for some reason I knew the most important thing was to get all the children out first, I stood at the top of floor 9, smoke behind me, pushing the moms and dads in front of me, so that the kids would get to safety. i knew that if need be I could crawl, do a jete out a window or at the very least inhale a ton more smoke than their little kid lungs ever could. I was shaking and it was terrifying to see the fear in the kids, and parents, eyes. I called my friend Christina to tell her my parents phone # just in case. I honestly had no idea what was going on and what might happen. I was scared.
Eventually, the line started to move and I made it down the 9 flights and out onto the street to safety. I started taking off my clothes and giving them to the little ones who were freezing, I even gave away my socks, and stood barefoot looking up at the night sky and thanking the universe for all our safety.
People will often try to preach about remembering what is truly important, that things are just things, and the importance of remembering the things that really count. We all get lost don't we? In some messed up way I feel like the fire was the universes way of getting my lose LA head back on straight.
In my moments of fear I thought about two things. 1- how if all the kids made it out and I didn't, that I would go down being proud of the way I lived my life. 2- how the most important thing we can ever hold onto is our spirit. running down the hallway in our pajamas, we are all the same, didn't matter if I was the judge with the dance career, and that was the parent with the gucci shoes, or the parent who worked two jobs to afford to send their daughter to ballet classes- we are all the same.
It got me thinking about what I would say to people if I only had a few minutes left, or what they might say to me. Three things came to mind.
I love you.
I miss you.
I am sorry.
So, if you have something to say, say it. If you have something to do, do it. If you have something to dream, dream it. Be it. Live it. We are precious, precious little things, and you just never ever know when things might change.
