Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I got on a 7 am flight to LAX from NYC yesterday morning and I wanted to cry. My mind was filled with questions like "why the heck am I doing this to myself?". I felt sick to my stomach, I felt high levels of scared shitless.

My idea for the year was to work bi-costally, as I always have. This time from LA and not NYC. A new city, a new apartment, a new car and a new agent all at one time.

I have spent the last 48 hours getting set up and over those hours I have come to realize that this was EXACTLY what I needed to do. I have 3 auditions already set up for this week. I have a bed. I have one of my bests just down the street. I was talking with my mom tonight and she said something so rad. She said that what is normal about me is that I feel scared. I am fearful of things but what is not normal about me is that I exist in spite of that fear. That I never let my fears stop me.

Listen, the big things. They are scary. Everyone gets scared. But the next time you feel like you cannot do something and start to talk yourself out of anything just think, that the best thing is your life could be right past that fear. Let life throw you the curve balls and make things hard- trust me, the universe will. But NEVER make things hard for yourself.

go. do it. do that thing that you are scared of. right now.

I am.