Monday, March 22, 2010

hi. i missed you. so I spent the week being the music host for at sxsw. it was the most incredible week, for so many reasons. I got to meet + chat with some amazing bands, work with a team of amazing people + see a few old friends.

I went into this audition, and this job knowing that I was in way over my head. I had to audition against 500 other hosts and most of them probably had more experience + looked better, or had more knowledge of this festival. I had two things to offer, I love music + I can talk to anyone for hours.

When I left last week I called on most of my bests for pep talks, reminding me of the good things about me. As confident as I seem, I fall from grace when it comes to self-esteem more than i care to admit. The week was amazing, I learned so much, I gained so much and I had so much fun doing it. I lost my voice at the end of the week from reporting over top of some amazing bands. I wore so much denim that I think my skin turned blue.

A few acts that I saw that I think everyone should check out are An horse, Honeyhoney, dawes, band of horses + sharon jones. There was a point where I was watching HOLE play, from above the crowd and I turned to my sound man and said "i feel like the coolest girl in school". I really did. I have found something other than dance that makes me feel like I belong.

I also got to hang out with my friend Alex from the cab + see his set (wonderful), I got to play with my friends cassie + jon. It's weird. I miss them both. I want what they have. I have never met two people more in love.

I also got put in one of the worst situations that you could ever wish on someone. No matter who you are, or what you have done in life, I hope that you never have to go through what I did. In the words of c.perri "karma tastes so sweet". i learned this. give time and energy to the people who deserve it. some people will never change. hold true to the things you want in life. jealousy is ugly. insecurity is even uglier. and just know, what I know- a cheater is always a cheater so I will keep my pride and she can have you. I felt nothing when you looked into my eyes except for pity, and I have waited 400 days to be able to say that.