Monday, December 14, 2009

I know it's easy to say, but it's harder to feel...this way.

People often ask me what is the best piece of advice I can give up-and-coming dancers and this is it.

Be you. But be the very best version of yourself that you can be. There is no need to be a cookie cutter version of what you think everyone wants you to be. There is a place for you. Somewhere, some casting director or choreographer is looking for someone just like you. Just walk into what ever auditions you have and be prepared with your dance bag full of talent, tricks and confidence. You won't win them all, or book them all- but I promise you that you will be right for something, somewhere.

I have always used this advice in my own career and it has lead to some of the best jobs and most amazing experiences. I have a reputation for being a hard working, quirky dancer with strong technique and a fun attitude. I consider that rad because I am a hard working quirkfest of a person who likes to have fun. I have only ever been myself and it has worked out really well.

Then over dinner tonight we are talking about "real" life and someone said this-

"Well, just be yourself, don't over think everything so much, you want people to fall in love with you, not that person that you think they are looking for"

I love that. Isn't that the exact same advice I have been giving dancers for years? Yet, I cannot seem to give it to myself, on a day to day basis. Just another example of how I can completely separate the two lives I lead.

There are such stark differences between the person that I am and the person that I want to be. I don't see that as a flaw, but a strength in my own character. If we were all content with ourselves then there would be hunger for growth, and I think that we can never stop growing. That's what it is all about. In my perfect moments I am a picture of grace, peace, composure and compassion. I know my worth and I would never waiver on the price for my work, or my heart. In my weakest moments I lay awake at night restless with the fear of the unknown and jealous rage for all the injustices of the world, grasping.

I truly believe that there are people out there looking for someone to run fast, travel the world and buzz around life filled with zest and passion with. Instead of trying to be what I think everyone is looking for- I have decided that 2010 is meant to be a year of me buzzing around, running fast and looking at the world through passion filled eyes. Maybe one day I will look beside me and someone will be running along with me, and maybe not. Either way, I am done trying to be anything but quirky, fast paced, workaholic, lover, fighter, dreamer, happily ever after-er that I am.

I am really good at that, and it is all I know how to be.

ps. I think Travis Wall is such a dreamboat of a dancer. Look at his turnout and feet. I love the way he moves, so effortless.