Saturday, December 19, 2009

I had a conversation with Santa tonight at the bar. I know this sounds silly, but it is true. Santa is quite the conversationalist. He called me 'intimidating". I got angry, again, because I am confused as to why people keep saying that about me. It sort of hurts my feelings. I asked Santa to explain- he said that we live in a world the is not conditioned to handle the truth. That I am someone who speaks the truth, and asks pointed questions and is very cut and dry. Interesting isn't it? That it seems like people who tell only and accept only the truth are considered "scary" by the rest of the population. I am not scary, I am honest. If you do not like what I am saying then perhaps, you do not like the truth. I have accepted MY truth. Sometimes, I hate the truth, but at the end of the day, the things that keep me up at night have nothing to do with guilt and lies.

My friend tells me this:

"You are just a wonderfully bright light that draws all sorts of bugs and butterflies. The lesson is---you can't filter the good from the bad----they come together. That's how you learn to tell the difference!"

It seems like this past year has sent me more bugs than butterflies. But she is right. I have finally learned to see the difference between them.

more than once was more than enough to place the blame on my side
if you think I'm gonna let you in again
you are out of your mind.