Friday, April 16, 2010

I am getting oddly totally comfortable with being alone. Parts of me feel totally okay with the future looking like keltie becomes that old woman with her crafts, dogs, tights and books life.

I feel so truly happy when I am sitting on the couch with the beachwood babes, on the phone with one of my best friends or simply doing things like taking yoga or enjoying the sunshine. I have gotten over the feeling of wishing I was somewhere else, or with someone else. It is sort of amazing to be able to do whatever I want whenever I want. It is 100% amazing to be in control of my own feelings and emotions and not be impacted so deeply (because let's face it, I am a FEELER) by someone else. It is refreshing to have control over my heart and mind 97% of the time.

This is also scary because I honestly never thought I would ever come out of my co-dependent life long streak. It is so strange to know exactly the things that make me happy and the things that make me sad and have the complete self control to only manufacture scenarios in which will produce the former. That being said, I still always have moments of pathetic, self-inflicted heart struggle. ugh. But I have learned to forgive myself quickly and let go. I am perfectly imperfect. yay me.

I hope that each and everyone of you one day gets to realize their own power and hold it in their hands and feel just the vastness of your own energy.
We are just these amazing creatures who love, live, feel, hurt, hug, laugh, kneel, skip and be. I am not sure why the universe doesn't hand out gold medals just for being a woman and deciphering the maze of feelings, emotions, hormones, mirrors, and shoulda-coulda-woulda's- but it should start. We deserve it.