Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sometimes I like to people watch. I see so many bits of the old me. So many are all trying to make things that do not work, work. I used to be that girl. Making excuses. Over looking obvious red flags. Fighting. I would have never believed it but I seriously think that there is a perfect person who fits perfectly into everyone of our lives.
I always wondered how you are supposed to know when you meet the “one.” I am far from an expert at relationships and I am far from perfect. All the days I have known Swoon I have never had a fight with him. I’ve never raised my voice, wondered if we would last, wished for someone else, drove off in rage. None of it. I think love must be when your care and concern for someone else’s well being equals your own. A mutual respect for each others feelings. You don’t have to freak out or yell because you respect the other persons far too much to treat them that way. When I get angry and break into fits of hysterics swoon usually says “awww come here mamma” and just holds onto my girl-fit until I calm down. He calls this snuggling. I call it hormones. This year when I started to walk away from my dance life (which provided a pretty radical paycheck) and went into becoming an unknown writer (which left me with an almost non-existent paycheck) he never made me feel like less of a human. He just told me he would support me as long as I needed him to and that he believed in me. So easy. We talk about getting married everyday and I never break into hives. When we play doggie swap with my ex he shakes his hand and says things like “I could see us all being friends one day.” Who says that? He is more handsome everyday. Sometimes I go to the laundry basket and smell his old shirts because that smell makes me happy. I know! I’m seriously screwed right?! But maybe that is what love is. The tiny little things that make normal days better.

I know I am going on and on, but love is confusing to all of us, and I thought that in the brief instant that I think I might have it figured out wanted to share.

Don’t waste time trying to change those red flags, because you might be missing out on your perfect match! My biggest regret is that I spent much of my 20’s wasting time on boys that were wrong for me. Sure, I loved them. Sure, there were moments of fun. Sure, skinny jeans make me swoon.

True love feels better than all of that.
Trust me.