I am in love with hope.

I realized something so important. I am neither better or smarter than anyone else, I am just luckier. Shame on me for feeling like I knew everything about life, dance and love. You can know everyone, know the whole world and still not know your way home at night, and not know what direction you are facing. The secret thing we don't get to see when the camera turn off is that people rarely show us the whole truth about how they feel. If everyone was as happy as they are pretending to be the world would be a different place. Everyone hurts, everyone cries, everyone is unsure.

The challenge for all of us is to keep looking up throughout all of it. You can tell when someone walks into a room and the "biz" has got them down. You can put on your combat boots and either stomp on top of other people who are also trying to get to the top or you can grab their hand and stomp along beside them.

after all we all want the same things: love. comfort. the stars.



I love you.

I believe in you.

Make me proud.

this place was radioactive with memories.

Nothing you do in your life really even matters- dust to dust- you can't take it with you. If that makes you feel small, good. It should. That is exactly what you are. I've been carrying around this ego of mine calling it things acceptable: Hard work, determination, courage...

When really I am just trying to matter in a vast complicated universe where nothing really ever does. Nothing stays. I stood on this island, with no light and no power and could not see anything except black on the horizon and a million stars. If the ocean had swallowed me up right then, the only thing that I would have left behind that really matters is the love I gave to others. People would box up resumes, photos, files and accolades and throw them into the trash. A life I obsessed over would be gone in a flash. You would forget me. The people closest to me would forgive all the mistakes I made. They would talk about all the ways they will remember me, and then eventually, life would get in the way and they would forget me too.

First I wanted to dance.

Then I wanted to dance great.

Then I wanted to be great.

Then I wanted to be greater than "them" (insert: everyone who ever said no to me, every director who cut me from an audition, every boy who broke my heart, every girl said boy loved after me, every kid who was cruel to me in school, every person who called me talentless)

Then I wanted to matter.

Then I realized that so very few things actually do.

I realized on this trip that my favorite version of myself is the one that does what I love for no other reason that it being what I love. It is so easy to touch everything and actually be connected to nothing.

be grateful.
be satisfied.
be humble.

I am going away tonight for 9 days. I won't be blogging. Checking FB. Tweeting. Calling. I will be silent. I will read, write and swim. Wake up when the sun comes up and go to sleep when the moon comes out. No electricity. No Tv's. No anything.

The idea actually scared the crap out of me. I've been pacing all day. I do not "unplug" well. So, reason #526 this trip is so important.

I want to leave you with this thought

If they took away your money, your house, your clothes, your computer, your television, your cellphone, your tickets to that concert...would you still be happy?

We are a society surrounded by "stuff". This stuff is supposed to make us happy.

We are a society addicted to sharing. We tweet, blog, blast each and everything we do. Nothing happens to me anymore without a handful of strangers commenting on it through various social media. I care what those people say, I don't know them. It's all very strange.

My quest for this week is, if I see something beautiful, do something epic, think something profound and no one is around for me to tell about my seeing, doing and thinking... will it mean less?

or perhaps more?

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, an obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not; and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board. The hospitality was as cold as the ices."

-into the wild



I met a five year old girl today who told me that "dance was in her soul". Reminded me of me. Reminded me why I love this art. Why I love movement. Why I am obsessed with everything dance. Why I dream in 8 counts and why I want to wear tu-tu's daily. Reminded me of the me I set out to be, and not the me who set out to prove everyone wrong.

I got so caught up with being faster, stronger, and more important than I really am, that I seemed to forget why I do what I do. I do this for you. I write this for you. I do this to inspire you to chase your dreams. Mine already have all come true, and the new one's I've been working on don't fill my soul like 45 minute warm-ups + grand plies in the center.

There are large parts of me that try to be great so that I would feel worthy of all this attention, but my goal was never the attention, my goal was to be great.

I'm back. I missed you.


Ps. sneak peak of the new S+B fall Photoshoot! My grand pleasure to welcome Stacey Tookey from So You Think You Can Dance to the Sugar and Bruno family!

it took so long just to feel alright...

May this be the last time my heart ever breaks for the thought of you.

courage. passion. hard work.

Sometimes, before things can be built up they have to be knocked down. Sometimes, too, a lot of hard dirty work has to happen before something delightful can emerge. It is sometimes though mistakes that we learn something useful.

It is scary to move into a new phase of your future, away from your established routine and old messy habits. Sometimes, for me, it feels like life is full of changes that I am not ready for.

I guess we all have to understand that all the fear, rejection, "what if's" and sleepless nights are worth putting up with because of where they will lead.

Trust that.

The things you work for, will be yours.
The ones who hurt you, will one day get hurt.
Everything you put out into the universe will come back to you.
It might seem like a ton of work now, but trust me all those ballet classes will pay off.

Courage. Passion. Hard Work.

...because sometimes, the bad parts, are sort of the most beautiful. I like a little struggle. I like some blood, sweat and tears. I feel more alive when I am dying, just a little inside. Like Odette-she's on her deathbed and still the most epic beautiful thing I have seen.

Jar of Hearts (and awesome!) Christina Perri + me.

the backstory to this piece: he's broke her heart, and just in the minute she's collected the pieces, he comes back. (sigh)



No matter what your dream is please remember this: good things happen to good people. There will be a day for you that you will start out singing jason mraz in the car with your best friend and end the day the #1 most google searched thing on the planet. I have been around all kinds of music-people while their dreams were coming true. I have never witnessed something so special, real, raw and heartfelt. Life has dragged this girl through the mud...and she came out shining...and so can you... just please

-surround yourself with good people
-believe in your talent
-get the fuck out of your own way
-give good hugs

Thank you for supporting Chris and making her song top #20 on itunes! We were infinite last night.