what it all comes down to...I haven't got it all figured out just yet.

Hi army,

Ahhhh. Where do i begin? First of all I want to thank you all for your love, support and words. This blog has become such a huge part of my life and soul.

I recently approved the FINAL version of my book "Rockettes, Rockstars and Rockbottom" and I feel empty of words. Something that I started as a hobby turned out to be a ton of work, and that on top of all my other work...has left me in need of a really big nap.

When I was a little girl I really wanted to follow my dance dreams and I am thankful each day that I had the courage to do that. As each year passes I realize how much I want some new dreams. I've never really taken the time to live and love.

I am leaving tomorrow on an amazing adventure with my heart. I will not be blogging, or tweeting or anything until I get back in Late November. I am going, for the first time in my life, to go enjoy myself. Eat, Pray and Love. I am scared, and very unsure of what a Keltie who is not working will be like but I know this is a side of myself I am desperate to find. I am excited to go live without thinking...I should take a picture and share this, or this would make a good blog. I'm gonna go and just be. me.

I hope you all understand and I promise to be back, better than ever with fresh words very soon. In the meantime you can visit my facebook page here for updates on the book, the book tour and other things that my awesome team will be throwing together while I am far away.

Have an amazing fall. I will be thinking of you each and everyday.
Courage. Passion. Hard Work.

and mostly...LOVE.




and please take care of her.

i wont be there when word gets round/i won't be there when ur luck runs out/cause ur someone else's baby/yeah ur someone else's crazy now.

-matt nathanson




Oh matt nathanson why are you so perfect? It's been a really weird month because I have been working so hard on my book and reading over + edits + thoughts + press and all things that story. That story feels like something I made up in my head and never actually lived through, because I feel like I am such a different person now.

I spent most of my life being a co-dependant. I've actually had therapists tell me I had a "condition". Since grade 9 I always had a boyfriend, most of them I didn't like, or even spend any time with, but I had none of the tools necessary to make myself happy. I only existed on the compliments and praise of whoever was my #1 at the moment. I was the Julia Roberts in runaway bride, I liked whatever you liked, because I wanted you to like me.

Most people think that my book is going to be one big tell all about some guy I dated once, and sadly, they will be disappointed (sorry trash sites and haters!) The story isn't about anyone else but me. I wrote the story so that you all could find those little pieces of yourselves that YOU see in me, in this story also. It is so common, pretty, talented, smart girls who don't even like themselves that much and cannot exist without focusing 95% of their day on whatever love interest in in their eyesight at the time. I lived that way for a very long time. I was only great, because they were great.

When it came to living alone for the first time in my life a few years ago, it wasn't just a case of "my heart is broken and I need to get over you". It was a case of, "I have no idea how to be alone, and I am not even sure that I like myself enough to want to be alone with myself." Sad words. Big lesson.

Look, we all have flaws. I can point this finger and say, this person did THIS to me or that person did that to me. But the bottom line is that, I was never ready to be in any kind of relationship any of those times. That wasn't really love, it was obsession. For me I had a giant check-list of things that I wanted from life. Live in NYC. Check. Dance with the Rockettes. Check. Be in a music video. Check. Fall in love. ummmm?

Love isn't something that you can "work" your way into, or something that you can magically check off your to do list, or get in the dollar bins at target. I wanted to be in love, I thought I had found the guy (more than once) and so I did everything in my power to make that love work, and never once stopped to think- Am I happy? DO I want this? Is this the kind of life I want?

Matt writes "ur someone else's crazy now". I love that line because it is so true. I used to think that crazy was artistic, and that artistic was exciting and exciting was cool and that cool was what I wanted and that all of it was love. I was a fool.

When someone loves you, you will know.
But no one is gonna love you, if you don't love yourself.

Take the time to have a relationship with your soul. Be alone. Strengthen your morals and honor. Find out what you really like. Love yourself. Love will find you.

follow friday!

Here it is the cover for my book. I am thrilled to show it to you. I also started a FB group for the book + will giving away copies and having contests and all sorts of fun things so please join here! Pre-order starts Oct. 22!!

Caught between backstage and center stage, Keltie Colleen opens a window into her intriguing life of dance and rock n' roll. In between gigs, Keltie optimistically untangles complicated rockstar romances, while clinging to her own identity. Simultaneously tragic and hopeful, Keltie's story is an honest, powerful and ultimately uplifting guide to following your dreams and losing your heart.

Today I got offered a really cool dancer job, a dance job in a new movie. My first reaction was "Well, thank goodness I proved that I am not a total failure."

I said that because that is how I feel most of the time. We dancers are only as good as "what is next" No one really cares about last year or last month and the few days we get to spend on set are magical but fleeting.

My my said to that she thought it was so sad that as humans we tend to only focus and remember the really awful things about ourselves. That we tend to hold on to those failures and seemingly brush away all the good stuff with ease.

So true isn't it. The 7 jobs I auditioned for last month that I didn't get haunt me daily with thoughts of, why am I still dancing? am I as horrible as everyone says I am? It is sad that booking a job makes me think for just an instant-

Okay, good, now you have validated your choice of life for one more week and proved to everyone that you are not a total failure.

Silly really, when it is obvious I am not a failure, none of us are. Also silly that you all say such wonderful, sweet things to me and I forget those the instant someone says something negative. Well, maybe I do look old.


The bottom line is we should be the opposite. The good things should stick to us and the bad things should easily melt away. I wish that was the way the human heart worked and from now on I am going to really try to be that girl. Life is way to short to only believe the bad.

Like CP said to me once " You hair is bigger than you think, and you are smaller than you think"

and besides if the dance world, the dating world and the book world all think I suck, I am pretty sure that one little lady thinks I rock....

Here is what I want to tell you all. One day you might be 28 years old and watching all your friends have babies and husbands and you will really regret not taking that trip, buying those really soft sheets and calling that friend. You will hate yourself for the years you got up in the morning and got dressed for him, so that he might noticed you and might stare in your direction, all the time you spent lying on the floor putting your heart back together and trying to fix him so that he would want to come back to fix you. All the conversations you started with the reasons he was so great instead of the reasons you were.

Sometimes the "he" in our life seems so important instead of the "ME".




and it's not that easy...but nothing ever is...

what is your favorite part?

epic.

remember when I used to post youtube videos of my friend who I thought was great, and then just an handful of us used to know about her...

This is proof little army that dreams come true. Never give up. This could be you.

Please head over to christinaperri.com and log in to view the video for "jar of hearts". I am beyond proud to have danced + been assist choreographer on this project.

thanks to lani lee for the awesome photos!