shark day.

This weekend I had a blast the shark night pool party. I realized that I am sort of a werid-o and I really enjoy marching to the beat of my own drum. I've been crafting a ton, and I made my flower halo for the party. Please check out the link to my gallery of photos~

things I learned at the pool party:

-hot tmz guy is hot in real life too.
-jeffery campbell lita's do not make good pool shoes.
-everyone has cellulite
-unless you are jennifer anniston or paula abdul you don't get to have your publicist act snotty to the press about interviews. You are the star of shark night, drop he tude chicks.
-a gay as a date never disappoints.
-when in doubt...lunge.

LINK TO PICTURES

It is very hard to see ourselves for what we really are. Easy to complain. Easy to want more than we have.

Today I am going to attempt to teach myself again that you cannot have it all just because you think you deserve it.

You don't really deserve anything, you work for everything.

get to work!

living louder.

a little musical story.

I once met a band of little boys. Those little boys signed a record deal, made a record, toured and never saw the success they deserved.

Then, no one knew what to do with them. So they wrote songs, for 3 years. Every song they turned in didn't sound like what the "safe" choice would have been, and so they were denied.

After a while, they had some break-ups, with managers and labels and I sat with my friends while they contemplated giving up totally. I decided that they might need some advice so I hooked them up with lunch with a guy i knew who was a music manager for a big company. They had lunch, and seemingly left even more defeated.

Eventually, that guy became their manager, they took all their own money and they made the record THEY believed in. The day it was released it took over the itunes charts without the help of a label, a fancy PR company or a million dollars. All they used was their songs and their amazing fanbase.

This is a story so inspiring, that it makes me cry. I will never forget this day. I will never forget what it feels like when the good guys win.

I am so proud.

If you haven't supported THE CAB by purchasing their record SYMPHONY SOLDIERS yet, please do.

This weekend was amazing. i got to go to Canada and turn off the internet, cell phone and life for 5 days and just enjoy my friends and family. I had never been in a wedding before and it just changed my heart so much. When I live in LA everyday I start making subconscious lists of all the things I want. A bigger house, a nicer car, more work, more money, more hours in the day. With my friends in Canada this week, I felt so rich. It didn't matter, none of the things we get blasted with that are "important" matter. Love matters. Family matters. I feel so happy and full.

I love when the good overtakes the bad, even if it is just for fleeting minutes.

If I had a penny for everytime you made me feel worthless, I'd be worth something by now.

Last night I got the chance to go to the troubadour and watch Christina Perri play. 3 amazing things happened.

first, she was amazing, gave me a shout out before jar of hearts, and made me more proud then ever. running up to her after the show and hearing "hi, best friend, I miss you" was the best thing ever. What weird about when one of you friends becomes an overnight sensation, is that in order to be a sensation, they don't really have time to be around anymore. It's been a hard year for me that way. To get used to LA without CP living underneath me. Not having my #1 around everyday like before. But, I guess that friendships really are like relationships in that, you just have to love someone, through the good and the bad and the close and the far. It won't always feel awesome but I think that sometimes the love that friends share is so special and what might tear apart lovers can never mess with a friendship.

secondly, I saw Rocker last night. I cannot remember the last time I saw him. Maybe 8 years ago? I couldn't look him in the eye but it was so nice to hug him and meet his lovely wife. Weird, how sometimes everything ends up just where it should be. When i was with rocker I was CONVINCED that he was the guy for me, and seeing him and his wife last night, made it really clear to me that that just wasn't the case. They are perfect together.

The third thing that happened was that i realized that my "perfect together" was there too. When Cp played "arms" and swoon stuck his around me, I couldn't help but think of how cool it was gonna be when Christina sang it for us at our wedding. It's just the perfect song for our story. i am crazy. He is calm. And he loves me anyways. I try to run everyday. I cry over stupid things. I obsess and he just rolls right along thinking I am the cats meow.

The most perfect moment was when we got home and I rolled over and said "Isn't it gonna be so cool when CP plays Arms at our wedding?" and he answered "I was totally thinking about that when she played that too!"

Bottom line: everyone is perfect for somebody. But we are not always perfect for who we this we should be perfect for. Love will find you. In the places you are not looking. Love is gonna find the people who broke your heart too, and you should want that for them. We all deserve happiness and once you find your own "meant to be" you won't feel so horrible about your "not meant to be's" loving someone else. Trust me.



you put your arms around me and I'm home.

this. just so much.

"you touch a wall and you break my heart"