new blog.

here.

about this.

sometimes sadness can come over you in a wave
and your brain is just no match for your heart.
you should know better.

but a song
a smell
a photo

will take you right back.

And your happiness is ruin buy old hurt.


I hate old hurt.

The 'Oh shit" moment.

I was in church last week + heard the most amazing speech. I cannot remember it exactly but it went something like this.

"Everyone always thinks they have it totally figured out. Who they love, who they hate, what is important, what they want, what they need, and how the world works, and their relationship with god until...

the 'oh shit moment'

The moment when the plane is crashing or the cancer is happening that changes everything. "


I have been living my life this year as one big "oh shit" moment. Focusing truly on the things that are 100% important and living my life as if the plane is crashing down. It's meant some big changes in my friends, life, structure and time but I'd rather do it now then when I crash.

rome day1.

I am writing this as I take train by myself though inner italy, on route to my next stop on my 8 days here. It’s been amazing to be away from LA and the USA and everything normal and submerged in culture, beauty and a slow paced lifestyle.

I was eating dinner last night with my girlfriend that joined me for the first 3 days and we started talking about the things we love and what we would change.

I said that, although Los Angeles makes me want to collect things, I am always happiest when I am collecting memories.

She replied by saying “Driving a BMW is very nice, and I am sure it is fun, but it isn’t an experience, do not confuse the two”

I know we live in this culture that gives us one kind of pretty, one kind of success, one kind of rich and somehow we all become slaves to that status quo. It beats us down everyday making us feel like we are not good enough. That we do not matter unless we have lusted after “things.”

One day, at the end of your life, you will look back at all your years. I can guarantee you won’t marvel in all the hours you spent with perfect hair in your bmw.

Sometimes I spend so much time looking down at the ground, counting my imperfections in my head over and over, and rushing to get the the next part of my life that will somehow make sense that I forget that all my favorite moments are those in which I remember to look up.

If the sun is shining on me, and I can allow happiness into my heart- then I am the richest girl in town.

i made a gallery of all the things I have learned that I wish I could have told myself at 20. totally worth a read this morning.

enjoy. xx

CLICK HERE FOR GALLERY

for the heartbroken + uninspired.

emptied my "tape this to the fridge" folder on my mac + thought I would share it w/u -for the heartbroken + uninspired.

Click Here.

sometimes, no matter how much time has passed, or whose feelings were hurt, a person will always have a very special place in your heart. Years take the edge of rejection. Years take the sadness out of "I can't." The world has an amazing way of giving you what you need, and not always what you want.

It's been years. I will always consider you a part of my life in NYC and a million things have changed but you will always feel like home to me.